Hm...repetition works, of course, and the end included a slight twist that helped us to understand what the poem was about. Very simple, and by no means eloquent, but somehow clever.

Interesting. Luck, love and light to you, -Suzy

ah ok..i really didn't get this until you said to replace it with something else..this is cool

Very good points. Well written.

haha i really just want to go stomp on things now!

that was good..I laughed.

very good this was well written and just good...i like it. lots of love AllyCred

heh, this would make a good song to mosh too. and then at the end, it makes much sense.

I am so impressed! This is such a creative piece! Wow, i'm so impressed! Keep up the great writing!Thank you very much for your reviews!Love Anna -xoxo-"Be honest to yourself and anything can be possible".

Wow! I really like the repetition!And also the last line that says to replace the "it" with "the awful bad habits" Man, that is so creative! I love it!

your weirdness doesnt end does it? : -p