FictionPress.com - let the words flow
| FictionPress.com - let the words flow |
|
| Home Just In Communities Forums Beta Readers Dictionary Search | Login Register Extras |
| VampiresTears 2005-03-10 ch 1,   | That story is so damn awesome!! I really enjoyed reading it!! Your a really great writter! I denfiently want one of your books!! |
| Gata De La Noche 2005-03-10 ch 1, | Well, you have a good plot and a lot to work with. A quick proof-read would help out. And a little more writing experience. Try combinging a few of you sentences. Instead of The Dog was brown. He had a red collar. Maybe the dog's brown fur was adorned with a simple red collar. Makes the story flow a bit better. Also, watch verb tenses. You jumped from past to present once or twice. Overall, good. Just fix the little typos and keep writing! I'll be waiting for more! Gata de la Noche |