Wonderful! There are tiny grammatical and/or errors and such, but they don't really make a difference. Like, they don't bother me and I can't even remember where they were, just that there were some. :)

But yes, I really enjoyed this story because although it's a tad bit cliche, it wasn't endless droning, angst, and the like. It was relatively fast-paced, but slow enough for me to really understand what was happening. Truly enjoyable. If I find those mistakes, I'll be sure to tell you, though. :D

Viv.

aw. love ur story. ^^

I have several problems with this story. Several.

Number One: YOUR EMOTIONS ARE NOT REALISTIC. There is absolutely NO WAY that she would be all cool about having her freedom snatched away like this. She's far too happy with it all. I have no respect for her as a character. It should at least be a struggle for christsakes. The whole backstory that she'll be fine because she has no family to miss her and is very solitary etc. etc. is weak. If she's used to being solitary, she'll be weirded out by suddenly being around so many people! Especially such good nice kind people that cannot possibly think or hurting her but are too blind to see that TAKING AWAY SOMEONE'S FREEDOM is WRONG.

Number Two: they're all CHRISTIANS. I'm a catholic myself, but the way you present religion here is too sickenenly sweet. hm bandits that rob and steal but are christians...doesn't ring true with a little 8th Commandment that says THOU SHALT NOT STEAL. All this "The Lord must have brought them together" doesn't add anything to the story, it makes them seem a little bit moronic and flat, especially when they're ALL SAYING IT.

Number Three: They're too cute. Too matchy matchy. I would rather be reading the story about the girl that was throwing utensils at the other guy for three weeks. THEY'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO BECOME FRIENDS IN THE BLINK OF AN EYE. She's at least supposed to hate him.

Yeah anyhow, I could go on for years, really, I just won't. Please look over this? Please please?

Really, I expected more drama from this kind of story. Hell, i'd expect more drama from ANY fiction one here by chapter 7!

I loved it!

BOTH STORIES PLEASE!!
Lol.
Oops.. Gotta go to bed right now, but ttyl!
And I absolutely LOVED THIS STORY!

BWAHAHAHAHA!
They will PAY!

No. Way.
Another girl who likes horses AND raises rabbits for 4-H?
WOW that's not likely to happen.
XD
I should know.
LOL. In fact, I have a rabbit show next Saturday!

COOL!
It's really nice to hear that at least one othr person loves horses and rabbits!

Oh, it's so sad that the twin girls died! BOTH? :( And it had to happen to MARSHALL, too. *sigh* Realistic addition, though, I guess.

Thank you so much for posting this story! I really loved reading it.

Oh! Wow! Actually almost fatal! None of that "good thing the bullet just grazed my shoulder" business. PLUS A BABY OMG. No morning sickness? So jealous.

AH OMG. OMG.

Okay, this is exciting.

By the way, I thought that Shay already had basic training with a knife and self-defense? So, this was just more intense training?

Onto the next chapter!

THANK YOU!

Thanks for finishing the story; that's really nice and responsible of you. And I'm really enjoying it!!

WOW that was hardcore.

WOW.

So, the only real suggestion I have is that it'd be nice if you put the name of the person who's narrating at the beginning of their section. Unless it's your intention to leave the reader in the dark for a bit? It's a little annoying.

This chapter was NOT that short!! It was really a nice length, AND it had a good ending point. :D

P.S. I love your story!

OH my god, I love this idea! This is a really interesting beginning.

Thank you so much for making this story about this "big-boned," tall girl instead of some typical small and delicate fit-under-any-guy's-arms girl. 178 is such a realistic number! Perfectly in the weight range for her height, too. THANK YOU.

I just read your story straight through and I loved it! I'm a Texas girl, so horses and cowboys can always hold my interest! Looking forward to reading another story very soon!
~Lizzy