OMG! Yay! NEW Chapter! This makes me happy to no end. First off, before I forget: In the beginning, 'clenched' not 'clinched' :P Really glad the story is finally moving forward a bit. The part where his body forms around the staff was neat. Question: If someone cut off his head, would both pieces reform into two of him? I was very grossed out about all the gore, by the way. >.< Well done! I'm excited to see a bit more of the freaky little girl so maybe we can figure out what they are! Ok, that's all from me. Great chapter!...if short...

Yay! I really like the way you revised the chapters! They do flow much better now, because, as was your concern, the style remains consistent. After rereading all five chapters, I think the line: Oblivion was a bliss, is my absolute favorite. There are a number of typos, the worst of which was in...chapter 5? It should be 'presence,' not 'presents.' :D Other than similar problems I thought you did a great job, and I look forward to a quickly posted chapter 6!

:D Yay! I was worried you were actually going to wait a year, but you didn't so yay! I think this is my favorite chapter now. I was really well written and the dream sequence wasn't as confusing as it had been in previous chapters so go you! um...oh yeah! Here's a sentence I found a little confusing:
"Her stringy was hair slick with sweat" ?
There are a few more tiny errors, but that was the only one I actually stopped and stared at for a few seconds. :) Great job, and you had better write more before 2008!

Amazing and intriguing story, as always, Kakai-sama! Also very--dare I say it...interesting. :) You have a way with describing the way your characters feel and it really keeps the reader interested. Your consistent suspenseful chapter endings are also dreadfully magnetic. However, some typos are very evident, such as uncomfortable switches from third to first person, and a few missing words. Other than that, I love it. Absolutely love it. Keep it up. Can't wait for more!

Hi I plead that you continue Damien So far it is simply marvelous and if you finish it could be (most likely will be) a best seller so umm... please continue i beg!

UPDATE! I want to know what going to happen! Its a great story and the suspence is KILLING me!!

look! ive finally read it and as a bonus im reviewing! be happy! this is a very dark chapter...well more dark then some. I liked how you described the blood bath. I hope you get to working on this again or i will get your beta to give you a good talking to! and guess what? Im to Hyper!

WOW! When are you going to post the next interesting chapter? Isn't it interesting how everyone says interesting? Can I have a cookie?

hi yea you probably don't know me but you probably don't know half the peopl on here but please write more!

I think it is good. I would like to read more. This guy sounds like a freak.

The one thing that is confusing is you use two different points-of-view in your story. You use first-person and then third-person omniscient(sp),and then you switch back to first-person.

Other than that, I love the story write more, or I will hunt you down (from the info on your bio of course) and force you to write it until your hands bleed and it is done. So there! ;P

well now that was interesting! nicely detailed down to last blood drop...i love it! question: why would the blood burn him? i dont understand. other than that it's very interesting! keep up the good work!

interesting

maybe...nevermind

This is really interesting. Your ideas are very suspensful and keep me on the edge of my seat. I will look forward to reading more of this! Keep going!

Hannah,

This is an interesting and even gripping narrative. It's some of the best use of the subjective character I've seen in the amateur pages in quite a long time. With some further training and a bit of greater confidence, you can make it to the big leagues. One piece of advice: True writers write because they burn to tell stories. They would tell them whether one person read them, a million people, or none. We write, because we have no choice within ourselves. The only enouragement you really need is encouragement from yourself, not us. Finish the story because you HAVE to! I look forward to reading it all.

Jeff GomezCEO Starlight Runner Entertainmentcarthalion@aol.com

this is a very interesting story and you should really continue it. you probably have everybody that reads it saying you better not stop, even if they don't give you a review