Reviews for Pirates - FictionPress.com

Reviews For: Pirates - Reviews: Page 1 of 2

exit laughing. 2007-03-07 ch 22,	Wow! This story was absolutely amazing! I could not stop pressing the button to head on to the next chapter. A little more detail would have made it better (if that's even possibly ;D) and sometimes, it was hard to tell who was speaking. But other than that . . . GREAT! I'm on my way to read the sequel now! ;) ~Kt P.S. - This story deserves SO many more reviews!
Carter of the Springs 2007-01-24 ch 4,	A good chapter to be sure, glad to be introduced to Brayde and the others...hopefully Drei won't be /too/ mad when he gets back to them...which I have an overwhelming feeling he will ;)
Carter of the Springs 2007-01-24 ch 2,	A great chapter, all in all, and I know these reviews are fairly pointless considering the story's finished and all, but...shrug old habits die hard, and to be honest, if other writers share my need for reviews, I don't really want the habit to die at all. The only thing I can even half-criticize is that the chapter seemed a bit rushed. Not in a way that took away from the reading, but...anyway, I'll just leave it at this - good chapter!
Carter of the Springs 2007-01-24 ch 1,	Hallo there! Seems to be just the sort of interesting, fast paced introduction to a story I myself seem to be completely unable to write! That's a compliment to you, by the way ;) I wonder if my history isn't what it should be, but I admit I really find myself lost with the talk of the places in your story so far. If they're entirely fictitious, I trust you'll explain everythin in due time! If not and they're for something I'm not familiar with, well, that's okay! I like your characters and your style of writing, so with that said...thanks for this, looking forward to it, and happy writing!
Hazeleyed Everglades 2006-08-08 ch 22,	That was a good ending. The whole thing was pretty damn awesome, by the way. If all this critiquing got/gets on your nerves... well, I'm sorry. I didn't sing all the praises I wanted to, (I wanted to review chapter 21 so badly but didn't have anything useful to say. It would have just been squealing fangirly stuff.) but I hope you realize I'm quite in love with your story. And Drei. (cackles evilly Elis better keep an eye on him! xD) I like how the letter summed up why he wouldn't sleep with her. I got kind of offended when he got all cold with Elis at the end of chapter 21 and couldn't understand why he had to be so... /mean/ about it! Well, I still don't fully understand, but the letter made me not so mad at him. ^^ rereads your profile Oh... and you know what? ^^ Dearest Amelia Atwater Rhodes may have wrote ItFotN when she was thirteen, but it wasn't published until she was fourteen. Her friends got an adult friend/ex-teacher or somebody to publish it for her birthday. ^^ Anyhoo-- dives for Part II
Hazeleyed Everglades 2006-08-08 ch 20,	:] sighs happily I do so love a happy ending. Even though it's not over yet. ^^ I keep forgetting to mention-- you've got a few grammatical errors in every chapter. (Although your tenses are wonderful! They're perfect! ^^) Also... you might want to be careful about the last line. (“Because he comes and goes as he pleases, cousin!”) I thought Drei was calling her his cousin at first! rofl =P I just sat there for a few moments with my mouth hanging open going, "They're COUSINS?! They can't be cousins!! It'd be too weird for them to be together! THEY CAN'T BE COUSINS!" And then I realized whatsisname must be back. ^^; Anyway, it's not one of those things that ABSOLUTELYMUSTBECHANGED... just... be careful. It's a litle confusing, is all.
Hazeleyed Everglades 2006-08-08 ch 16,	Aww. That was a dang good chapter. I especially like the ending. Although the beginning was good, too, with her watching Drei fight. Nice descriptions, although I've noticed whenever you describe something, be it a fight, setting, or reaction, you have some trouble breaking off the paragraph. I would suggest writing it like you normally would, then reread it and ask yourself, "Where can I break this in half where it would still flow smoothly?" There were several places in the first paragraph that would work. ("She peered that way...", "Drei! Elis gasped as she saw him fight..." among others.)
Hazeleyed Everglades 2006-08-08 ch 12,	Short review, mostly only because I've only got a question: does effoi du vanc mean anything in particular, (something of the something?) or did you just pick it 'cause it sounded cool?
Hazeleyed Everglades 2006-08-08 ch 11,	Hn. Bet you thought I was going to review for every chapter for a while there, huh? =P Actually, the rest of my last review isn't even showing up on the review page, and I've been glaring at it, wondering if I'll have to rewrite it. glares again I don't like rewriting long reviews. It's a pain in the *. Anyway. ^^; In the summary, you call Drei a "loveable scoundrel." Granted, I* love him, but it really isn't an accurate portrayal of him. He's a badass. An ulutimately endearing badass, but a badass nonetheless. ^^ My point? It's misleading. (Before I forget-- I really, really, REALLY love Drei's name. It's wonderful. Perfect, magnificent, excellent, etc etc.) I'm also really loving the characterization. Elis and Drei are perfect for each other, but it's a kind of perfect that isn't commonly found on Fictionpress. It's refreshing. (If I figure out a better way to describe it, I'll let you know. ^^;) One more thing. (This pertains to most chapters, but this one especially, I think.) I'm not really getting a sense of how terrible the Vanc is. Drei comes in and saves her over and over now (which I like-- don't take that part out! =P) but then suddenly ALL of her archers are dead? I think you need to either play up his skills, or give some more descriptions of how big the beach is, how many enemies there are outside the castle walls, how scary they look, how few people Elis has compared to them, etc etc. Slow down the battle scenes just a little bit. It'll make 'em more dramatic.
Hazeleyed Everglades 2006-08-08 ch 3,	Hn. There were a few things that were confusing in this chapter, but most of them were just me reading too fast. (I'm running out of computer time. >_
Hazeleyed Everglades 2006-08-08 ch 2,	I'm back. And with constructive-ness, too. ^^ I don't know if you did it on purpose or not, but that giant paragraph in the middle of the chapter (“'Thank you for your kindness, Captain'... Confused thoughts tumbled around her brain with chaotic speed.") it's WAY too long. It needs to be cut into several parts. All in all, though, it was a good chapter-- very exciting, with just a bit of foreshadowing. I knew that Capt. Farrell was a bad apple! xD
Hazeleyed Everglades 2006-08-08 ch 1,	le gaspeth Only NINE review for such a story?! A PIRATE story, nonetheless! You would THINK that the second PotC coming out this summer would encourage the reading of pirate stories, especially FINISHED ones, but I guess not! Well, fear not, fair lady-who-has-an-immeasureable-amount-of-faith-in-Capt.-Jack-Sparrow! (Your profile, by the way, is quite amusing. I enjoyed laughing my way through it, especially the desert island part. ^^) resumes galant speech I will review many times before this story ends, to be sure! You WILL get the reviews you deserve! (Understand, though, that I don't leave short little nothing reviews. You know, like, "lol. Great job," or whatever. I find them irritating and useless, especially since you've already finished writing this one. And because of that, I'm only going to review when I have something CONSTRUCTIVE (dun dun dun!) to say. Savvy? ^_~) And yes, I'm feeling rather silly right now. Some may tell you that it is a constant state of being for me, but I maintain that it is, in fact, not. I think. xD
ArtsyTartsy86 2006-04-25 ch 22,	okay, so rather than reviewing every chapter, which would hindered my getting to the next chapter as soon as possible i waited until the end and can i just say that i was very much intrigued. I mean you have this great push and pull between Drei and Elis and i love it. It was great to see hpw the two kept pushing each others buttons and how he kept saving her. I want my knight in shinign armor, write me one would you? Anyway I loved it and now that I'm hooked on yet another one of your stories all I can say is that you better the hell keep writing because if you don;t I'm not below threatening you to do so. :P I'm a little violent tonight, and exhausted which adds to the violence. Loved it nad now off to part two!
ArtsyTartsy86 2006-04-24 ch 2,	Evil Ferrell, Evil. For a second I really thought that it was a dream, then you pull that stunt on me. and OMG, poor Elis, and to think for all of one chapter I was thinking possible romance between the ttwo, was i ever wrong!
ArtsyTartsy86 2006-04-24 ch 1,	I was looking for something to read and couldn't find anything of intrest so I figured I'd start another one of yours. Well enjoying it so far, off to the next chappie!

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