You know, I'd leave an actual review, but I noticed YOU left the exact same review for several pieces tonight. That's degrading (.

chochang913

This, in all honesty, should be in a prose format. There's no real poetic lines in here. Well, perhaps:

"So I pushed to show I’d stay nearSo I’m still pushing to say I’ll stay"

Can be considered lyrical. I liked it, though. Try and add more description of your... feelings. Right now, all I have is a series of sentences that illustrate that you broke up with someone. It doesn't go much farther than that.