FictionPress.com - let the words flow
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| Emmytastic gal 2006-05-22 ch 1,   | This is REALLY awesome... wish I could hear the notes. I have a lot of boredom time at school, too! :) I think this is beautiful - especially:' As the blade sweeps a fatal kiss 'I used to songwrite with someone, but we don't hang out anymore, so I'm finding it really hard. Anyways, poems are my thing. Back to your song, lol I keep going off on tangents (thats spelled wrong i know), It was really and totally fabulous. keep it up. write on, -Em |
| Wesley Smith 2005-08-02 ch 1, | I think this poem would of done a lot better to be more subtle. You have a talent for poetic language and this one was just a little off. Basicailly, it sounds like a Good Charlotte ballad. You do bring out the good stuff every now and again like this line, "Her hope is just an extinguished flame/As the blade sweeps a fatal kiss/" but mostly it's just another run of the mill suicide poem. Nothing we haven't seen before. But I think the main problem is that you just go out and tell us. I'm not saying you have to hide what you're trying to say behind a wall of metaphors but you could do better than to just come right out and tell us. I think a better way would be to show us. I'm not sure if this is making any sense. But if you're going to write a suicide poem I would say you need a ton of talent to make it sound fresh and original and with this one, I just have that feeling like I've read it all before. But anyways, keep trying and working at it and I'm sure you'll be able to achieve something better. |
| Drowned-Rat 2005-06-21 ch 1, | Song's catchy, although not sure the beat I set was right; my internal clock is messy :D |
| Nothing Profound 2005-04-06 ch 1, | Very powerful. I like the way you use so many outside influences that bring this girl "down," in a way. A very nice piece. |
| heavens-calling 2005-03-26 ch 1, | powerful and moving*tears tears sarrie*nice work! |
| Aslan Israel 2005-03-19 ch 1, | Wow. Powerful words, and very well put. So sad... |
| blackrosestears 2005-03-18 ch 1, | Pretty good. I had to say i had trouble finding a beat, like the meter is off or something. (count of beats) Sounds like somehting out of Linkin Park's cd (good thing) Keep it up. |
| Nabiki Watase 2005-03-16 ch 1, | i really liked your song. it's very depressing and it kinda reminds me of myself LOL |
| HauntedMisery 2005-03-15 ch 1, | Wow, that was amazing! Keep it up! |