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| SilentWillow920 2007-03-07 ch 1,   | Sometimes, fighting with friends can feel this way, like the fate of the world decides on the outcome even when it isn't true. Interresting juxtaposition of "the innocence in their eyes is dead" and "the fire and passion for morality; burn in their hearts." One would normally think that could not be true simultaneously. Your choice to end the piece with shorter lines really closes it well, though I would have liked to see either more repetition, rhyme, or rhythm throughout the piece to tie it more firmly together as a poem, but that's formal training speaking. :) Free verse is fun too. All in all, good job, and a successful poem. |
| Confused-Mind 2005-05-04 ch 1, | i really like this poem...it got me thinking and that is what great poems should be all about...keep up the good work and i look forward to reading more |
| aliasfan 2005-03-21 ch 1, | Great poem! It's good to read a poem by you about another topic. Very interesting! |
| dustytiger 2005-03-15 ch 1, | oo, i like this a lot, i like the duel idea it's rather unique, great work, thank you for sharing |
| PrincessSelphie 2005-03-15 ch 1, | that's really interesting, I like the way you laid out the ideas and the sentiment expressed is a real insight. |