A very good story. Perfect imagery. Please update this

I laughed at the line about the angel not being a cow. Little touch of humour in there.

This is a good start. However I thought the very last line did spoil it. I'm sure you could have thought of a more subtle way to put it. I can't really explain it, but the line does seem out of place.

Anyway, good work. Update ASAP.

hey i loved ur story it had good action in it and i like the whole element thing very good ...please R&R thanks

good start. shows promise. hope it carries on as intriguing.

love the way you talk through the action it creates some kind of wierd proces on the brain the way oyu have weiten it and that was before i had even been bothered ot rea dit for a soenc dna dhtird time ot udnerstand more of what it was about