At least give mORe credit to the friend who gave you the extra push. Like, her name? *sUlks* But hey! Like I said, be spontaneous! Don't plan, don't think; just write. ^__^ K, should review it properly like I do with others ^__^ The LOL of every paragraph.. it's like a facade or something, a smile to disguise. I like how the whole piece started off comedically, and then gradually heading off to a direction the readers would never expect. Like you observed yourself, the paragraphs get shorter as the story progresses. It becomes more.. agitated? There is an underlying sense of confusion and uncertainty as the piece comes to an end. Actually makes you think, really. Simple use of language; simplicity is beauty itself, that's my fave phrase ^__^ Write more of this in the future.. but don't make them all too gloomy =D Life is already that depressing without fiction adding into the mess ^_^ But anyway, just write! =D

sR