Wow. I really like this one. It's got some very nice language, and flows very nicely.

Just one thing I feel obliged to point out: it's "entrusted" on the second to last line, not "intrusted".

The bit about the future with the blank line is good, but in the bit about the past, is it supposed to be "but I the end"? I thought it might be a typo for "but in the end".

Anyway, keep writing.

Xavier

"And you may be a paedophile, axe murdering psychopath" how nice. hehe. i havent done the english either...

Han.

wow really good

Hey! I like this, especially the ending. I noticed a couple things though:-the "trust/burden" part doesn't flow very well...-"But I the end" should probably be "But in the end"-Last line from the end: I think it should be "entrusting"

Don't be offended, please, they're just some little things I noticed!

Overall, this poem flows very well and the idea is just perfect. What a cool birthday! (Go 8s! I was born on an eighth)

My absolutely favorite lines are "And you can always run/but in the end/It's only from yourself"

9/10 stars, if I could rate it.

TrueToMyself

(Wow...that was a long review)