 Fox Angel 2006-09-29 . chapter 1sweet poem I like it! Its a bit intense like someone else said
anyway great poem keep wirting! |
 Plinky 2006-01-11 . chapter 1Nicely written. You are very good at ending your poems - they are always really really good. XD
Keep writing! |
 White Tea and Ginger 2006-01-07 . chapter 1I like this. Really simply written, but intense. |
 Isis of Egypt 2006-01-06 . chapter 1I love it.
"And I wanted that ache to ceaseAnd a caress for every creaseIn my silken conscienceCaused by his stolen piece."
I love these lines. And those about being tired of writing the meaningless...
Wonderful job. |
 mattrc 2005-09-15 . chapter 1I like the way you write. Your poetry seems so open, yet the way you write it and piece the lines together, it still leaves you a bit to wonder about, which is a major quality I enjoy and look for when I read poetry. |
 hollyg20 2005-08-04 . chapter 1You asked for reviews on this piece...since I enjoyed the first one I read so much I figured this was as good as any to follow it! You really have a gift for putting your feelings and thoughts to paper. Thank you for sharing that gift with us :) |
 Karkiana 2005-06-01 . chapter 1That's a great poem! You said that you write about things that are personal to you... I'm sorry for what ever happened to someone in your life or you. But you sure know how to put your feelings on paper! |
 TheDevilsAngel09 2005-05-26 . chapter 1wow..amazing writing.great poem,you are excellent writer ..i like this poem, very emotional..just great
laura thanks for revewing my work |
 diesoz 2005-04-25 . chapter 1very interesting. It makes one think. |
 Julie Poe 2005-04-12 . chapter 1Great poem! Keep on writing! |
 Thyrt 2005-04-03 . chapter 1hmm...interesting...pretty cool, great!! |
 renru-no-ren 2005-03-30 . chapter 1deep. thought provokeing. the good kind of angst. |
 Zafiel de Levantine 2005-03-29 . chapter 1Hey, real nice! ^_^I like the feeling it conveys, very delicate.
Thanks for the review.
Zafiel de Levantine |
 Fuinixe 2005-03-27 . chapter 1You requested reviews for this specifically, so here goes...
In the last line, "minds" needs an apostrophe. It might be my crazy notions about writing style, but I think the "more than is necessary" is a great ending and you could do away with the last line altogether.
The contrast set up with "He didn’t have the right to touch me/But you did" is my favorite thing about the piece, caress vs. crease (I'm assuming scar?) and the wrongness of the abuse(?) vs. the comfort you needed from the other person.
Again, your imagery is potent and from the beginning I see innocent glow-on-the-dark stars stuck to the ceiling on a really dark night, and it sets up the mood for the rest of the poem.
Sabbrielle |
 Aslan Israel 2005-03-27 . chapter 1Flowed very nicely. Great job. |