FictionPress.com - let the words flow
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| Suicidal Rabbit 2005-05-06 ch 1,  | abuseWow, this was really good. And I'm not just saying that because I agree with your point of view. I especially like that you didn't try to make it rhyme- so many people try to do that when writing petry and it makes it bad. Keep it up! |
| penicillin 2005-04-01 ch 1, | abusethx for writing a review to me! I appreciate it alot! Your poem rocks and stands for what we are actually fighting for and all the other s**t I have 2 ppl serving over there. There were 3 but now there's only 2...funny that... |
| Dances-with-Stoats 2005-03-30 ch 1, | abuseReality. The lines get long at the end, but it flows well. very nice |
| anon 2005-03-29 ch 1, anon. | abuseI like what you tried to do with this piece of writing. You obviously have a very strong message that you want to convey. I think it's a good start, but could still use some work. In my opinion it could benefit from more carefully placed line breaks (believe me, they make all the difference). I did, however, really love the last line; "...and the badges aren't bulletproof". It brings the piece to a close on a very dramatic note. |
| not sure yet 2005-03-29 ch 1, | abusehm, my opinions on war are...warpped, so ill not comment on that part, but it was well written, strong (does it sound like im repeating myself? i think i am, bah, im a moron, sorry) full of fun ideas, and yea, good job |
| Rebekah the Scribe 2005-03-29 ch 1, | abuseWow...that was very...I don't know...I seem to lack the very words to describe what I thought of this piece... Let me try to salvage...It sounded--patronizing, sarcastic, allegorical, disturbing, and many many other words that I can't exactly think of right now. But I liked it. I especially liked the ending visual that you conveyed...it was very powerful. Good job! ~CR P.S Thanks for the review. I'm glad that you liked my poem! ^_^ |
| dustytiger 2005-03-28 ch 1, | abusewow, very powerful message, wonderfully done, wonderfully expressed, and it makes you really think, i hope a lot of people will be able understand this peice, great job! thank you for sharing |