UGH! So many grammar mistakes, Ake-chan! If I wasn't so tired, I'd point them out for you. But, I'm on my last leg here! LOL! Sleep cometh for me soon, me thinks! Okay, review time! As I mentioned before, I've detected a good number of mistakes in your grammar and general word usage. Now, it was nothing too major. But it needs to be pointed out because most publishers won't do it for you. It is for that reason I would suggest for you to go over this chapter again...and very, very carefully. Find what you messed up and correct it. Hod, I must sound super-harsh right now, but I'm not trying to be mean, I promise. I just want you to make this story as good as your others! Plus, after seeing how well you handled writing 'Scarecrow Kakashi', it comes as a bit of a shock to see a piece of writing from you so riddled with simple errors in grammar and spelling. It just doesn't seem right! LOL! Anyways, I just needed to get that pointed out and out of the way. As far as the rest of the story goes, it maintains that excellent mix of comedy, drama and action that the previous chapter had. It is still a wonderful read, though the flow is somewhat disjointed by the errors I found...much like the first chapter. By no means is this a flame! Quite the contrary, this is a critique and review which is meant to aid you in making this story better. It's already good...it just needs to be proofed to make it excellent. I hope that you don't find anything I said here offensive. If you did, then I am truly sorry...

See you next review!

Terryll Preston, still2twisted of FictionPress fame...

hey, this is the first story i've read from you but after reading the first chapter of this, i sincerely doubt it will be the last! i really like your writing style, and the characters seem interesting and well defined even in the first chapter. keep up the good work!

Hi! Hi! I'm here to review one of your stories. Since you were so kind to review mine, I've decided to repay back the kindness (oops..straying from the subject here..0_o)

I like Mikazuki and Neko-chan (though he/it didn't came out that often)

Nice plot! I like where it is going, though I have no idea where the ghouls and zombies came from! Nice! I'll be waiting for the next chapters!

You asked so nicely for me to review, and you've given me such great reviews, how could I say no? great story. I could really believe and sympathize with Mikazuki. I'd read more, but I have a concert in about an hour, so not much time. I'll be sure to read more later!

I like the main character, since she's got an attitude and all. Heh, she definitely seems like a great anime or manga character to me. Anyway, I wonder why ghouls and zombies attacked? Hm. Curious. Simply curious. I have to read more of this fic if I'm to find out more. I can't wait to read the next brilliant addition to this wonderful story.

chibichocobo

I always love reading any story with shinobi's in it (right now, I've got a Naruto obsession going on). The beginning was comical, and it had truly that anime-ish feel with comedy, and the scenes were well written. I'm sorry that I haven't written your Scarecrow Kakashi series before, and I'm sorry that I didn't read this, either. You've definitely got a good writing sytle going on, and your stories are engaging, from the writing style, to the characters and dialogue themselves. This seems like an extremely cute story, and it seems like that Terryll (still2twisted) fixed some of the grammar mistakes for you. However, those mistakes didn't detract the enjoyment I felt reading the story, which is a wonderful read. Definitely a worthy piece for readers.

chibichocobo

No freakin way. Selective amnesia. Oh that's gonna be fun.

I can't wait to see what happens when the three of them go on the trip to avenge Aoi-sama. Is neko gonna go? Is he gonna be hot and stuff!

Squeal!

until next time.

AAH!Mikazuki and Aoi-sama are so cute. I'm a dirty girl...so I'm hoping to see some steamy forbidden action. *gomen*

I love Aoi-sama already! That kiss, though simple made me all melty. *sigh*

Hey great story. I love the whole ninja theme and plot its really good. I'm a huge fan of any story related to ninjas and such. Well great job and keep up the good work.

A new story from Chibi-Ake! And not angsty? Sweet! Well, all that aside, 'Kawaii Shinobi Mikazuki' hits all the codes of Humor Manga right off the bat...and never looks back! I'm very impressed with your transition from straight up angst-writing to this. The characters and flow are all very good, almost as good as 'Scarecrow Kakashi', and not once did anything feel forced or stunted. I can already see that Mikazuki is going to be a very strange but interesting character as is the rest of your wonderful cast. But, there are some bad points to your story that I must address. First off, I noticed a few - albeit minor - grammar issues. Example:

'A brushed my long crimson red hair and tied it into a ponytail that reached down to my waist.'

Did you mean 'I' instead of 'A'? I ask this because 'A' in this place doesn't really make any sense. Next example:

'A snapped on a pair of earrings that looked like green leaves.'

Again, I think that you meant to type 'I' instead of 'A'. Aother example:

'One was clean, one was dirty, and the last one was laundry dirty.'

Word switch or reversal with 'laundry dirty'. I think that 'dirty laundry' would sound much better. The same could be said of the next line of text:

'There was still one kimono in the clean pile and most of the other pieces of clothing were in the laundry dirty pile.'

Here's another example:

'Placing my laundry in my laundry wicket basket I place it on my shoulder and walk out the door.'

There really isn't anything wrong with this line other than the use of the word 'laundry' within two words of each other and, perhaps, the lack of commas. It might sound better if you wrote it out like this:

'Placing my laundry in the wicket basket, I heft it up to my shoulder and walk out the door.'

This way, it doesn't sound all mashed together two of the same words almost back to back. Well, those are just a few examples of the grammar issues in your story Ake. Please don't think that I'm being mean, I just want you to make your story as good as it can possibly be. I suggest that you read over it very slowly and carefully to nitpick out the mistakes that I have mentioned and the ones that I haven't. Afterall, being a writer is about constant maintenance of your stories to prevent comments like the ones that I have given you. I hope you don't mind the suggestions and I hope to see another chapter coming my way as soon as you can manage it!

See you next review!

Terryll Preston, still2twisted of FictionPress fame...