Powerful imagery. It pains me to read this because it is so beautiful. Three words: Dark, water, pain.

This is really good, sad and deep. I like the bits in brackets. good job! queenvixta

i loved it keep it up i really liked the words in parenthes they sorta preped me for what was to come up next. :)

Such power of the words in this piece as all your others.

yeah, with parentheses, your meaning in the background, right?kind of whispered?well anyway, very good, it has a deep and meaningful image that the reader can never fully know because we don't know who it is. I like this, because it gives room for the imagination. That's always a plus. Also, the fact that you have created this person's life in only a few lines, it's very mystic and creepy. I love it.

This poem sounds like it was written about one of my friends. I like it.

Oh! I likes this! It's pretty, and it's sad, and morbid, and I like it. I especially like the stuff in parenthasies. I recently read 'crank' by Helen Hopkins, and it kind of reminds me of that style. (If you haven't read the book, it's basically free verse poetry, and sometimes, they'll have random words placed off to the side that read together creats something new altogether. I love it, it's so creative!!) I also really like the last bit about 'divine sin of holy hell' and the part about clear and red mixing. Bloody tears. Oo... Pretty...*thinks about that in Japanese* Chi no Namida...PRETTY!!

a very powerful piece. great work!

Hey, this is great! It's very unique, stylistically, that is, with those interjections inside the parenthesis.

Dark...I like it. "Divine sin of holy hell" has got to be one of my favorite lines because of that double oxymoron juxtaposition.

Can totally relate to the first three lines too.

Repetition, listing...you are quite knowledgable in literary devices! A natural talent you possess!

~N~

Wow, very very powerful, great job!!

i like it. very meaningful and haunting, the last line is a question i think alot of people ask themselves.

nice job very well written

Very dark and depressing - It had such a lost feeling to it. Nice imagery to - haunting would be a nice word to use. Thanks for the review by the way.

My God, you have a lot of poems posted. After reading this one, now I'll have to read the rest of them. :D Anyways, beautiful work. I love the style you wrote it in. Beautiful wording. Love the emotions this poem draws from the reader. I also like the "As she was running from the pure world, the right world.

Of good, the bad, and the in between.

Where does she stand?". Heh. One of my favorite things to read about. ^_^

Thanks for dropping me a review. Dunno how you FOUND it (lol), as it had to have been buried under tons of newer poetry. But thanks. Write more soon (God knows I probably won't, I think my muse has flown off never to return)! I'll be looking for new stuff from you.

i like the format.. ncie job.. and thanks for your review