"..phone to call 911 but the line (w)as out."In the second paragraph, dialogue needs to be broken up into separate paragraphs for each person that is speaking even if it's on the phone.

I love the twist with the killer, great job. Your descriptions are well worded and nicely graphic without getting out of hand. Nice work, keep writing.

**Slave**

It was interesting but not very exciting.

Man, now I will never get to sleep tonight. It's pretty good.