Reviews for You're Welcome - FictionPress.com

Reviews For: You're Welcome - Reviews: Page 1 of 8

The Weird MAN 2007-04-11 ch 15,	o0o hey im not done yet, but if this line is a typo, then its funny, and if it aint a typo, then i feel dumb. n e wayz heres the line "Amanda this is Marian. I need a dress and ride. I’ve decided to go to the dance!” Melissa said." im pretty sure u ment Melissa and not Marian, and if u did meen marian, then nvm jus keeders hit me up ttyl 1
ANGEL992210 2007-03-11 ch 25,	I really like this story.
Adoboy 2005-08-10 ch 1,	Hey! Great story!! couldn`t stop reading it.. and u said noone can read it in one night.. well its 4 AM and yea.. i finished !! :D time to read ur other stories :D
Karen-Starsen 2005-07-25 ch 25,	aw! That's cute! I skimmed your story and only actually read the last two chapters, but i liked it and decided i should review. so here it is! good, and excellent!! ~Karen~
Miss-India 2005-07-11 ch 25,	I am glad you put in a happy ending atleast! I think it could have been written much better but thats alright. So I think this is the ending of the story! I did like reading it =)
Myiesha 2005-07-08 ch 25,	omg that was such a great great great story! write more stories and update everyday please!the slow updates began to get to me after a while and i started to loose interest...but it was a great ending and got me into the feel of the story again really quickly... liked the way u changed the time in the story! i thought they would just talk the whole chapter- be boring and then all of a sudden everything chaged! that was realli clever!sweetgal2005!! x
GhostSmilez 2005-06-30 ch 25,	aw sorry its been so long, but i got lazy and decided that i dont want to review EVERY chappie, and sorry its been so long since i actually reviewed. Im glad the ending wasnt sad, because i might have had to cry. You rock. by the by... youre story is the awesomest
sw33txch0colate 2005-06-29 ch 25,	THATS SUCH A CUTE STORY MARIAN! (: i enjoyed reading it.
joesi 2005-06-26 ch 25,	oh goddess i like the ending i love the whole story...
BlackOleander 2005-06-26 ch 1,	Hello. This is the Review Crew and we have some things to tell you. Hah. Rhyming. Oleander and Rhyming Rhapsody [who are, I suppose, much too lazy to make separate posts, also seeing as they'd say the same things]- 'Melissa Flores WAS a shy, small, typical girl. Ryan Delorez on the other hand, IS a popular, handsome, hilarious guy.'You are changing the tense. STOP. And it's not just like, once, it's over and over and over again. Proofreading/beta readers are your friends. "(School bell rings)" ... Oh, dear. Well. Let's see. Words of advice, don't type things that happen, like actions, in asterisks or parentheses or brackets or dashes or colons. Write them out.'The school bell rand, signaling the end of lunch,' could work. But no actions like that. "After five minutes Melissa fell asleep and her head slowly fell on Ryan shoulders. Ryan looked a little surprised at first, but then he just smiled and tried to angle his shoulder so that Melissa could get a comfy position." AH SOMEONE CALL THE TRAFFIC POLICE BECAUSE THIS STORY IS MOVING WAY TOO FAST. First) build relationships. Second) Expand them, expand your characters' reactions to people. Third) Move the story along, in a pace such things would happen in real life. If I was Ryan and this girl that I always make fun of [whether or not I like her]was resting herself on my shoulder in a public area, I would smile and get her comfy. "Hahahahaha!" Okay. One 'haha' will do. If they're laughing, say it. It's as easy as 'they laughed'. Well. Keep this in mind. Also, keep in mind that I didn't read the WHOLE THING. Sorry. It was long. ._. Anyways. The Review Crew thanks you for taking the time to read this review. Have a nice day. - The Review Crew
RedRoses08 2005-06-25 ch 25,	these stories were excellent... i loved them very much... i really loved the ending... it was great... please write more like it ill look forward to reading them very much.
-BeeVee-THEEAmazing 2005-06-25 ch 25,	I think you should make a sequel... Where their kids grow up and stuff... Although it would be kind of repeating itself, but I think with you talent you could make REALLY good! Well, anywho, I'm sad to see this story end! But I loved EVERY word of it! Well, I be waiting for more stories by you, toodles!-Brittany
Crystal 2005-06-25 ch 25,	Aww thats really cute. Good story...God loves you!
Choice 2005-06-25 ch 25,	Aww! ^^
joesi 2005-06-19 ch 24,	wow...is this the last chapter?...i love this story

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