the ending was too rushed - not forced but rushed,..i think you could have stretched the last chapter a bit. and see how the two got together finally - it seemed like there was a missing link.
but this is OK too I guess..

bella is so me. gah

Aww. That was fun to read.

GOOD JOB.

hello there.. it's been a long time since i logged in here and i found your finished story about bella and james..finally..they got together.. =)

i like you ending very realistic..it's hard being friends w/ sumone ur seriously in love w/ but it is always worth the wait..

keep writing...i love ur stories.. sumtyms i just log in just to see if you have sumthing new out here.. ha ha ha ha.. pathetic.. u have a fan here.. keep it up.. =)

heya this was great. i particularly like this one and it's prequel, they're really good. i can't wait to see what you write next ~ luv Alenor.

I agree that it's more realistic that they took their relationship slow. The date and the letter were very cute, but a bit too mushy for my taste. And that's saying something because I love mushy chick-flicks.

I agree that they need to mend their friendship first. There's probably so much confusion between them that they need to sort out. Their "date" was very cute. I'm guessing that the students have access to the football field at all times? At our school they have it locked up except for the games and P.E. classes.

James jogged up the stairs, and slowly walked towards her, an insane smile on his face.

He stopped just a step away from her and it tormented her.

“What are you doing?” Bella heard herself ask though she wasn’t sure if she’d asked it out loud. She suddenly felt numb and shy.

“I plan to take you on a date, Miss Jacobs,” he answered.

Hehehe! So sickenly cute. And the way hw said "Miss Jacobs". What a sweet chapter. I wonder if they'll fight on their "date".

Something that needs to be changed in the story is the confusion of Liv/Liz. In one sentence you will have her as Liz, and then switch to Liv in the next.

A few days after her big confession, Bella was headed home after class when she saw LIZ. She wondered if she was there to see James and was walking on her way home (she’d been doing a lot of walking those days) when she heard someone calling her.

When she turned to see who it was, she was surprised to see it was LIV.

Poor Bella, maybe a nice guy will bid on her, and she'll forget James The Idiot.

To answer your question, Bella's speech seemed a little over dramatic. I liked the intensity of it, and how you could feel that they were both hurting, so keep that, but maybe tone it down a little. I don't think a normal person would completely blow up into a speech, and that's what you want your characters to seem like: everyday people.

I just have to say that I love that she wrote that last thing, and then realized what she did. I've done that to the guy I have a crush on (we have a complicated story, but not quite as complicated as this one). I can completely sympathize with her. I have to admit, after reading this again, Bella's friends with all their mushy coupleness, and kind of annoying. That's just my opinion, and I guess a little constructive criticism for future revising.

I thought that James' girlfriend's name was Liv. Here you have her as Liz, and you even had James calling her, or was that the other guy? Okay, I'm a little confused. I really liked that chapter, and that last line.

Wow, you haven't updated for a while, and then I ws on vacation, so when I got back tonight, there were many fictionpress update notices. I was happy to see that this story was part of them. Poor Bella, I really hope she gets her happy ending. I hate it when everyone else is happy around you, and you feel like crap because of unrequited feelings. I know EXACTLY what she's experiencing.

are u gonna finish this story..i want to know what happen ...pretty please with a cherry on top..