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| Orient Fox 2005-04-05 ch 2,  | abuseThis is excellent! It's a story in some form of verse. I have no idea how you do it, but it's not rhyming yet it seems to give off the feeling of being a rhyme. *shrugs* I really don't know how to say it! Whatever your doing, though, is really really good, so keep it up! And the descriptions? Yeah, you deserve a big thumbs up for that. I could picture every single thing you were describing, be it the girl, the fire, or an emotion. And this, what you're writing, is fascinating. Wow, how long has this angel been watching this girl? Your story here is truly magnificent in so many ways, but it also seems to be able to invoke deep emotion inside of the reader. Not things happiness -- yet, because the protagonist (who i suspect is the angel) hasn't been happy yet, but you can just feel his angst! It's a fine plot line too. This is an excellent work, and I hope you update! Happy updating! *Orient Fox* |
| ellabella 2005-04-04 ch 2, anon. | abusecool, i like. i particularly like the lines "To love was to risk being unloved, To care was to risk being forgotten" because i feel that sometimes. your really insightful. this sorta reminds me of that t.v. series 'charmed' and the relationship between leo and piper... i don't know why it reminds me of that but it does. this is really cool i like it, its different from what i usually read. ellabella |
| Lukertin 2005-04-04 ch 2, | abuseA very nice poem that it's awfully descriptive. The rhythm of the poem works wonders and it's magical, most definitely. |
| arachibutyrophobia 2005-04-04 ch 2, | abusevery original, i like it, its very well done. i enjoy the format; its a difficult thing to pull off but you did it ;-) |
| DaDel Amor 2005-04-04 ch 2, | abuseWow, I like this! It's well hard to describe, really. Great Job, I could never write something like this. |