 Tenshi-of-hikari 2005-04-05 . chapter 1Well good chapter except that I can't figure out who's point of view the story is in because it seems to switch back and forth.
Also I think you made a grammer mistake here:
And I believe his was caught a little off guard by this question.
You should change the his in this sentence to he. Because that makes much more sense.
Anyways good chapter so far and keep up the good work... |