Woo! Yeah! Dark red man-woo! I have a little too much energy right now... I need to sit it off... I am sitting! Hahahaha! *cough cough*. That is KICK ** DAWG! He totally ** her then killed her. Then turned around, killed someone and left him all rigamortsistit for the FBI dudes. Tubular. All that's missin is some rolling stones music. That is dope. Man... I wish I could right that good. Write. I suck. I'm a total failure in life. That's why I'm gonna be on a corner doing the bad stuff... *gyrates*.Well, this stuff in my hands got me goin so I better leave.

-DUDE

Oh yeah finally! I guess me nagging u did pay off. Well good job. and keep up the good work. Allthouh you should dowload a program called scriptmaker it will make the typeing much easier.

Ok, I can see that this is a complex plot, and you probably already figured out where it's going to go, but most of the descriptions are lacking, especially during the fighting scenes. Also, because it is in script form, you can describe the characters a bit more without worrying if it sounds good or not. Also, watch the grammar errors in the story: you still can't get away with those.All in all, this story is still very interesting. I'll keep reading this.Keep writing!Peace out!

Now that is what I would like to call some good **. Hajime is awesome. Well, I'm a man of few words, and I don't have much to criticize. All I can say is with each chapter, I grow more interested. I hope the next update comes soon!

Well, I just decided to drop by, and take a look at the works of our new member, and I have to say you have great potential.You chose a very unusual presentation method not often seen on fictionpress (they've banned script form on fanfiction. Guess it's legal here...) Now, of course because of the fact that it's in script form, deeper descriptions and fluency are sacrificed for visual representation. You pull it off quite well compared to some of the script works I've seen previously, but there is a little improvement needed: The last part of the second chapter was a little rushed. We didn't get to see Ami and Geoff fight, we only know that they fought in the hotel room. We don't know where Geoff shoots her, we only know that he shoots her.Also, please stop saying 'glass somethings'. 'Something' could essentially be a TV on the on position, and anyone who smashes through it would be electrocuted immediately.Other than that, I can tell that you're a fan of Quentin Tarantino from the style of this plot. I don't know where the Cowboy Bebop part comes in. It's probably the bounty hunting...Anyway, that's nice the way you transist from reality to anime style even for a couple of frames, fortifying the authenticity of the scenes. Just be careful of inserting too much Kill Bill/Pulp Fiction in it, because you don't want to be copying it too much now, would you? However, so far you seem to put just the right amounts in it. Now let's see where you go with it.This is a very nice story, and I'll be watching for updates.Keep writing!Peace out!

Sorry I haven't kept up, I'm kind of bad at that. I'm somewhat confused by everything, but it's probably just me. It just seems to go a little too fast, but it neither harms or hurts it. I must say though that this entire work has been rather impressive. I hope you continue this.

Hi! I’m back! Please don’t hate me for not reviewing in so long. T.T I’ve had one freaking hassle after the other. So much change…@_@ but now summer’s coming so I shall have more time! XD I think I read this part before and just never got around to reviewing…but! It’s interesting. It’s kinda hard to follow the format, but it’s all written very well. When you say that it is yours, does that mean that you really have your works published or are working with scripts like this? That’s impressive. ^^ I look forward to catching up with all your writings. I will read them all! XD well…unless you go on another posting spree…=.= I’m going to update again soon too! Just watch me. XD well, time to go hunt up some more of your stories. ^^ (wanders off to find files)+Niiro

Yin -

Good script, it DOES have the Tarentino feel to it! Very cool. Peace.

- V. Gray

ANOTHER GREAT SCENE HURRY UP AND UPDATE!

*Claps hands* Bravoe Bravoe. My friend writes scripts also. This one script he has is 140 pages! Took me months to finish. But i'm glad u broke yours up.

Okay Yin, I'll give this a looksy too. But first, I have to warn you that I have absolutely NO experience as far as reviewing script-style stories go. But, you'be been good to me and have given a number of my stories reviews, so I'll do my best here. That being said, I tried very hard to read this and envision it as a movie in the Tarantino style. And on many levels, I was very successful in doing so. It was interesting and intriguing, bloody and violent, and had characters that matched up well with the world that you have begun to create. I'm not sure what else I can say, as you have already spotted most of your mistakes yourself and are going to correct them at a later date. I will tell you this, if this ever does become a movie - you can be damn sure I'll be sitting in that theater to watch it. Because I think that this script-work of yours might just make it if you keep on investing time into it. Well, I know that it wasn't as informative as my other reviews but I hope that it's helpful all the same. Hope that this works out for you in the end...

See you next review!

Terryll Preston, still2twisted of FictionPress fame...

Wow...that was just, wow. Your descriptions are accurate enough, not too lengthy, nor too short. The story is great. I love Tarantino's stuff. If you are looking for a critique, all I have to say are there are a few typos, and some grammatical errors. The characters feel real and alive to me. This is a great piece you have going here. And it's a good thing you copyrighted it. It wouldn't be going too well if someone plagarized your idea. I love the mix of action and intrigue. There is something that keeps it from just being a slasher. Well, I am delighted to have read such an awesome work. I'll be looking forward to hear from you soon!

hey there Yin! ah hah! areview for you! geez...yousure are fast! how do you update like that? =.= this was pretty good.i think i get it...but the plot sounds cool! and of course the fight scenes are awesome! ^^ heyumm...i tried to email you. did ya get it? i'm trying to read your fics and all, but you updatetoo fast! -.-; and my computer alwayspics the best times to die on me. >< dangit! i WILL read all your fics though! just wait til summer...right now i have a lot of work to do though.=.= but i haven't forgotten you! no way! XD thnaks so much for the lovely review! again! i'll try to review you again soon. XD thnaks so much! +Niiro-san