i'm in complete agreement with anon22 and sivin sounds pretty hot. :)

It's a well-written story that hopefully will continue. Your description of scenes is great and the focus on character development is good. Unlike other cliche fantasy fics, this one has great potential and few grammatical errors. Please update soon~

One of the most interesting stories I've read recently. It really drew me in. And I will admit that this Sivin character interests me and I hope for much more interaction between him and Kallana.

I like that this story is a bit slower in pace, I admire others' ability to write like that. I tend to jump from one event to another pretty quickly. It's a habit I assume stems from the fact that I become bored unusually quickly at times...

Anyway, I hope you find the time to update this story soon as I'd really love to read more.

The fic has a great start and is well written with few grammar mistakes and I hope you continue it. The plot is interesting and definitely captures the reader. I hope you update soon and good luck with self publishing your other work~

this is a nice story so far. well written, though there's very little forshadowing, and the little there is doesn't amount to much... perhaps a little more? don't exactly have speculations right now... but i really like it.

Yo, remember me? Well, you probably don't but anyway i am your true fan! i've read two of your previous stories, "That Which I Desire" and "Perimeter Red" which you had removed it from the net. And now i am on to your third story! Keep it going!

Ok, so you know im going to start asking for pictures now :) I luv it!!

Wow! Your story is really impressive so far, and it's only chapter 1. I loved your style of writing - so fluent and smooth, not like a lot of amateur writing that I stumble upon on this sight. It's hard at this point, in fact, to differntiate you from a professional author - the style you use, your use of words, your description of character, and the facts of the socity and culture that you let slip smoothly into the story. I have a good idea in just one chapter of what the land is like, without knowing that many facts. I liked how you introduced your characters and the depth you've already put to them (I mean as much as you can in one chapter). I think it was very well written and it makes me interested to find out what happens and how Kallana and Kaellel are going to hook up, lol. ;) Keep it up!