|Reviews for Advocate|
| Kani Dectsani 9/3/08 . chapter 17
Dun dun DUN! Demi-god, to the story stopper! *laughs*
I love this chapter. I really do! It's amazing to see the Dragon Village, and to read about their reactions. They just have that regal quality, the calmness about themselves that send everyone into an "awh" moment.
I also like this chapter because it starts to show a little more into the actual MAIN plotline. The Sepheer Talismens are the beginning of the plot, but those really don't lead to the end of the book. This is a pivital point in the plotline, the turning point towards the end, if you will.
| Kani Dectsani 9/3/08 . chapter 16
Thus begins the Sarah-Matt Fluff! Squee!
I had completely forgotten about the Viator. That's the only time that it shows up, isn't it? I wish that that this would make another appearance, since it would shock Davin SO much.
Loyal Dragons... Funfun. Interesting twist there to add a little jelousy to Sarah's life. She's not going to know what to think anymore, now is she?
Again, just the detailing and such, but other than that, I wouldn't change a thing!
Wait... Did Sarah ever pick up her sword?
| Kani Dectsani 9/3/08 . chapter 15
I'm really piling up a lot of favorite quotes...
'Matt stopped at her demand and slowly turned around. He smirked a bit, a playful look in his eyes as he saw her. She was glaring at him, her sword raised and pointing at his chest. She was being completely serious.
“An interesting way to get a guy’s attention,” he remarked, crossing his arms. “I’m listening now.”'
I loved that one! Perfect, when you consider Sarah's personality. This chapter and the last are really turning points in her personality. She changed from the little money-driven girl into the woman that Matt falls in love with. I can't wait!
Only problem. I can't remember what happens next! I'm going in blind, but that's okay. I need to have the reactions of a new reader once in a while.
And the fight. I laughed SO hard during that. It was amazing! I wish that those two would spar a little more. Polishing skills, teaching each other. Right now, they're like best friends. I can see them becoming brother-like figures. Then Davin's family will be HUGE! *laughs*
Great chapter. I would hardly change anything. You were on a role for this one, I'd say. Again, maybe a few more details would be nice, but just a few. Get too many in there and it starts dragging, and then it reads like a school book. :D
Onto the next one!
| Kani Dectsani 9/3/08 . chapter 14
Okay I lied. Now this will be REALLY short.
Good chapter. I loved it! Matt's reaction fits perfectly. I wouldn't change that at all. A little more detail about the two weeks would be nice. It short of just passed with out anything happening, I know nothing happened, but maybe a little more emphesis on the two weeks that had passed. Just emphasising them, saying it a few times to get the point across.
Wow, that wasn't short, but fastly written. Don't take it badly, since I didn't have time. Awesome chapter!
| Kani Dectsani 9/3/08 . chapter 13
I can see why your friend was a little disturbed. *Scary Chapter*
I do remember that, but remembering it doesn't really do it justice. DETAILS! Give me more details!
Sorry that this is short. Little time. Read later! Good job!
| Kani Dectsani 9/3/08 . chapter 12
That's enough of my rage. Anyway, she's just so... air-headed, almost? I know she doesn't know how the spells are made, but still. If someone would come up to you and say that they'll pay you to help them kidnap your friend, what would you say?
Maybe a little tweeking there?
After that, I loved the chapter. It just seemed a little farfetched that Sarah would go that far, but that is a lot of gold pieces. Maybe a little more there? A little more back-and-forth with her mind and the money?
| Kani Dectsani 9/3/08 . chapter 11
Okay, I guess I have another quote to add to my Favorite's catagory.
'“I can’t wait to tell Stephany. She’s going to have so much fun!”
“Fun?” Sarah questioned. Nothing about this sounded fun to her.
“Of course,” he stated, a smirk on his face that greatly resembled Matt’s. “She loves dressing people up, doing hair…that type of thing.”
“W-what?” She wasn’t sure if she was liking this idea.
“You’re already very pretty, miss Sarah,” he complimented, but his smirk only deepened. “But since you’re the bait, we’re gonna turn you into the most amazing woman those demons have ever seen.”'
That one! That's so cute! I can think of just a few tweeks in it to make it hilarious...
What I would like to see is the dressing time. Maybe a little bit of conversation there between Sarah and Stephany? There could be a little bit of Womanly bonding there. I know in the second book "The Last Judgement" that Sarah and Stephany were close. Maybe this could be the sparking moment between the two?
Matt's dream needs to be a little more dream-like. About halfway through it, I forgot that it was a dream. I practically started flipping out! And I'm in a library, so that's not a good thing.
Onto the next one! Muwahahaha!
| Kani 9/3/08 . chapter 10
I have two favorite quotes in this chapter.
1) '“You idiot!” he shouted, making her jump a bit. “How stupid are you? What part about ‘I’m a sorcerer’ don’t you understand? There’s no way I’d let a building, of all things, do me in! Next time think before you come rushing after me. You coulda been killed!”'
2) '“Not at all.” A very devilish smirk spread across his face. “…I just like killing demons.”'
Those are my FAVORITE quotes! I love those two. They are probably my favorite ones in the entire book. Please try to keep the first when you go through and re-write the chapters. It's so... perfect?
ONto the next one!
| Kani Dectsani 9/3/08 . chapter 9
Aw yes. The "Matt to the rescue, but for a price" thing. I remembered Maril, but not that little detail.
I loved the chapter, though again, a little more detail would be nice. And maybe a little background with Ree? He seems to be a cute kid, and I want to know a little more about him.
Onto the next chapter!
| Kani Dectsani 8/31/08 . chapter 8
Oh yes. The AGE old argument. It's present in quite a few things, but it always fits. I love it!
It really does hit home, though. I'm wondering if the 'talking' demons will make a reappearance. You know? If there's one, there's bound to be more!
| Kani Dectsani 8/29/08 . chapter 7
Oh Arli... Always getting into trouble. And Matt! Nothing can keep him down!
I do suggest having, again, a little more detail, especially when it comes to the Arli/Davin part. And maybe a little more about Sano. She's just a little bit of a side-tracker. Not really a supporting character, but a background character with a name.
Again, always interesting!
| Kani Dectsani 8/29/08 . chapter 6
STUPID MATT! *kicks*
Oh, the healer. I remember her. Always interesting, that one. Davin's used to watching? I didn't remember that one. Oh well. Sarah needs to polish up on her sword skills, huh?
Anyway, I love this chapter, even if it's a little... scary? A few more details written here and there would help quite a bit. This chapter seemed a little... rushed?
Always wonderful, Advocate is.
Random Quote of the Review: "If you can't convince them, Confuse them!"
| Kani Dectsani 8/29/08 . chapter 5
There is a bit of a difference between your writing before and now. I still love the story, of course!
Ah. Dante's Bring. I remember that now. Such a destructive force, huh? Interesting...
Onto the next chapter!
| Kani Dectsani 8/28/08 . chapter 4
Oh YES! The Dragon. I remember this now. And I LOVE it when Matt shows off. He's amazing when he does.
I do like how this chapter was revamped. It added quite a bit to it, though one thing still plays on my mind.
Gariff. When he came to wake up Matt, is was a little abrupt. There was almost no warning, but it seemed to happen a little too... easily? Coincidental? It just seemed a little wrong, though it might be just fine with a few tweeks.
Keep up the good work, Kitai! GET PUBLISHED!
| Kani Dectsani 8/28/08 . chapter 3
Sarah, Sarah, Sarah... Money. Plain and simple.
*laughs* It's true!
This is even MORE fun the second time around. I know, vaguely, what'll happen, so I can see the foreshadowing that's hidden within your work. It's nice, I think.
Onto Chapter 3!
Um... How about 4? *laughs*