Cool story, more please :)

Ohh I liked the jumping around it was fun! I like Ander too hes pretty funny :)

i love this story... it's so totally awesome... a perfect mix between modern life and fantasy, more fantasy of course, that's the way to go :D

Impending doom... hehe.

this is totally cool, i am loving this story so much

Vey good. The idea has been beaten to death but you've managed to pull it off smoothly and elegantly. Also, since it's set in Savari... I wonder if the group will end up running into a certain kurik...

Just out of curiousity, wouldn't there be a language barrier? Would the two groups be able to understand each other?

If you're worried about it, you could just have the mage cast a spell of understanding or something.

But otherwise, I like the idea. I've had a similar one for one of my stories, but I never started on it. You're doing a good job.

I realize that this may be a little early to be saying this, but presently I’m a little disappointed with this story. I’m not trying to sound like a jackass or anything, but it’s been done before. In fact, I’ve read a plethora of them on this site alone. Granted, most of the writers who’ve tried it are nowhere near as talented as you are, but most of your stories are so much more original and interesting than this. It’s not that I don’t like this story (I do), it’s just that I’ve seen it too many times before. I’d much rather see you turn out a new chapter of “Midnight Sun,” “Cry Sanctuary,” “Bete Noire,” “Gris Gris Man,” or one of your humorous stories.

Aside from that, I found the first chapter to be too long and tedious, and it had quite a few of awkward sentences as well (although there wasn’t anything I’d find too difficult to fix). And I don’t think that a paragraph long list of all the little gadgets she brought with her is a good way to get the readers attention.

However, I realize that this is just my personal opinion and that I have no right to tell you what or how to write. I do like almost all of your other stories, this one just annoys me for some reason. I’m sorry if my review seems harsh, but I don’t like to sugarcoat my opinion.

this is getting good, but there are many errors -- meaning spelling mainly, but it's still good

WO! NEW STORY!

this is sounding very interesting and good, i want more :( lol, sorry...

Dude! You are going to update this soon right? I'm dying to see what happens next. grr-- Jen