This is the second time I've read this story, and I find I like it just as much as the first time, if not more. I love the way you crafted Talin's character--thoroughly, yet succinctly enough for a short story. Well done. I never was too good at short fiction, myself. Thanks for such a good example.

*the eyebrow raises* interesting...

:) CD

haha, this was awesome, you did a great job on it. I can't belive this is the first time I'm reading it. Oh well. You're a wonderful author, so please keep up the good work.

Oh, and I update Wars of earth finally. :)

awesome. i like it. i wish there were more of it. you should write more of these little snippets... possibly meld them all into like, a history. that would be cool. i like the ending. how like, braytan survived and alla that. i like the name braytan... lol. neway, keep up the goods! kiss kiss!

Oh I so want you to continue this story and eventually finish it. Because then I'll read it all over again as a complete work. Awesome cahracters, enough different conflicts (although related) to support a couple of stories. Really interesting and dynamic characters. Thanks again for sharing!

Very nicely done. Good pacing and characterisation, and I like the humorous ending.

Oh, and thank god it isn't the usual sap about a young child with a hidden power who meets a mysterious mentor and finds that they're destined to change the fate of the world ;)

We could use more stories like this around.

Well, at least he avoided being made King properly! Good luck to him, I say.

I like this Talin fellow. He seems like a fun guy.

These side stories about Ayinchirr are awesome! I think you should do more, maybe work them into your main stories. That'd be cool.

This is a great story! So enertaining! You know, you could easily make it into a much longer story, though the ending you have is also a very good one, but yes...good stuff!

Great story, well written and though it was one-shot, there was a large amount of detail in Talin's world.