~OH! THAT IS SUCH A GOOD STORY! i REALLY LIKE IT! I GIVE IT ALOT OF PRAISE! HOOGAH HOOGAH! *bows down before a statue of the story-maker*~

This is a good story so far-keep up the good work! I can't wait 'til there's another update =)

Your story has an interesting plot line, and I hope you continue to develope it, but there are a lot of areas to me that I feel you need to expand a little on. For instance the whole setup for David becoming a part of Alana's life and friends so quickly. It needs to be developed more and gradual so that it is believable. Maybe put more of what he says as thoughts for a start, and maybe make your time line longer, such as a few weeks for him to get used to all the people in your group and develope all thier character traits, and then throw in the anniversary of the death.

I would mostly just like some more character building. If you would like some ideas in this area, or a very long review, let me know and i'll e-mail it to you. But definetly keep going. I'm very interested in what is going to happen.

oh dear. this is your best one yet. update soon, dear. let's hang out this summer, kay?? =p oh crud. i've still got the triumvirate notebook. hahaha. cris's been waiting ages. anyway. tell me as soon as you update, kay dear?? :)

yay! she smiled! lol! I cant wait for more! also, I cant wait for your other story to be updated. and I really like David. he's such a sweetie. is he hott ;)

aw...thats so sad. do you really like the name Alana? Im just wondering since the main character in your other story is Alana also.

Can I just say, I found the way that you portrayed Alana as wearing a mask very powerful, and i could relate, not because i'd lost a twin, but because io think that to some extent, nearly everyone, if not everyone, wears a mask in one form or another. I like your style of writing, and your characters as well. For some reason I see Billy as looking like Pete Doherty... lol. Oh well, I think he's kinda hot, so there you go. Basically, yeah, keep writing, this is really good so far, and has a lot of potential :) Elena x

Not bad so far. I like the story libe, but it could be a little more discriptive and longer. Keep it up.

beng a twin, that was deeply touching. I could not imagine coming home and finding out she was gone forever. It would destroy so much of me. I can't wait to see how you have alana react.