Good beginning. You managed to skip around, and still make the story flow well.

Kind of an awkward ending point... Is it to be continued? It's well done but not very closed. Lots of loose ends that I'm sure we're all still curious about.Sorry I kinda disappeared...summer ended, school started, and I had a very full load of classes and homework and work and lessons and craziness. Glad you've done well without me though ^^

What!?! No more?

But happens next?

Darn it. I was curious to find out what was going to happen next.

-Morty M.

"Secondary…stop talking like some loser in a video game" - I liked this quote.

"only only remaining" - Hmm, one more character to join? only one more chapter left? only more comment from Jessie before he gets torn apart by Malik? Now I'm curious.

Until your next update, Morty M.

I was puzzled by your comment, "Only two remain." Only two reviewers?

Anyways, I, for some reason, like this Ballard fellow. This story could use a fresh non-mage character.

I look forward to the next update,

Morty. M.

... ::Sweatdrop.:: I stopped raping my plushies YEARS ago! You have NO proof!

Uhm. What an excellent and astounding beginning for this "Review", which can only mockingly be called "review" because it is not "review"ing at all but instead "rant"ing, as my "review"s don't seem to contain much "review"ing but instead more "rant"ing and I cannot believe this is a single sentence.

So, wait, what're you telling me there? We'll get a guy with tentacles who's lovable and acceptable and then you'll kill him off? It's not Cthulhu, is it? ::Wonders, looking at the prospect of the underworld.::

Uhm. No, I know it's not likely to be cthulhu... just... uh. ... yeah.

Somehow Jarvis looks like the kind of person who'd molest small children to me. Am I a bad person?

Hrm. Yeah, tho. Overall not a very nice person judging by the first impression. He probably kicks small animals, doesn't he? Doesn't he?!Oh yes, he does.

While the style of command is quite ... successful, I can't quite agree with it. Killing the minions is a bad thing. Protesting minions must be tortured into submitting. If they don't, keep on torturing 'em just for fun without any intention of ever lettin' em go again.

Uhm... yeah. But that's just me.

Somehow, that person rings alarm bells in my head. Hm.

No matter.

Tristan's command clearly sucks. Sucks. Sucks sucks sucks sucks sucks. ... ... AUGH!AUGH!AUGH!Tristan and sucking in the same sentence!This hurts, because "Tristan" is associated with glowing ** in my mind.AUGGH!H! THE IMAGES! NO!

- Wynd.(Currently too disturbed to keep ranting)

Another good, but short chapter.

I'm happy to see that Malik was thinking logically about who his "mystery admirer" is.

I'm curious to see what happens next.

-Morty M.

And here is ME!

Yeah! Who's your favorite ranter? Who's your favorite ranter?? YEAH! ::Chuggah chuggah chuggah.:: ::Sleazy ** music in the background.:: ::Does groin-thrusting victory dances.::

Okay, so, since you can follow replies "like that", I shall do another sentence-per-sentence speech!

Only at times.

Hahahahaha, it's proof you're insane. XD

YAY!

... aww...

... ::phew.:: Thank god.

Yep.

Isn't that Brandon Quazit? o.O Although, "Brandon Quezada" sounds better. >.>

They will be to no avail. ::Sharpens weapons ominously.::

I'll probably scream a lot, rant, make death threats and whine, then accept it but continuously tell you that the person needs to die.

Hrm. Fine. Wusses, though. No matter what. Still wusses.

-

And there's that.

Now on to comments on THIS chapter.

XD XD XD XD XD XD XD RAWR I SMELLS ACTION! Armies of goblins! Malik not under influence of icky medicine! RaWr! RAWR! ::Starts cackling.:: Neat! Neat! I love you! Good author! Carnage! YEAH! Not only carnage, but the promise of an underworld! NEAT! YAY! This is -almost- worth the pain of being defeated by a guy with ** on his back.

Also... Yes! YES! This is what I love to hear:

“I’ll not hold my tongue! Celeste is an idiot!”

XD XD XD XD HE SAID IT! DAMN STRAIGHT!

And... I dunno, it still could be Karen. I mean, even if he does notice -something-, he quite clearly doesn't have a grasp on what love is. Hm.

Ah well, I'll wait and see, wait and see... o.. mental images... ripping ** off a man's back... neat... I like my mental images...

Hm, I want a demon plushie. With sharp teeth, that I can throw at people. That'd be neat. Hell yes.

And there goes ME!

- Wyndhane.

PS: ... gives me blod... blod...

It's been a while since your last update. I am curious to find out what happens next.

Tristan really doesn't act very angelic... It does make it easier for me to root (sp?) for Malik.

Until your update, Morty M.

::Ahem.:: Let an unhelpful "sentence-by-sentence" reply begin.-

Yes, indeed.

That's nice of you.

Sure. ^-^

No, the "glowing red and twitching wildly" thing my eyes are doing isn't related to this at all.

Ha - attention whorery pays off. Beat that, people... beat that.

Excellent. They must die. They must die in kinky and possibly mind-wrecking ways whose horrors cannot be described... said horrors do, or should, however, about equal that of the mental image of a Legolas/Gimli yaoi coupling. (::Shudders, repressing tears at the image.::)

They will die.

Only when it is too late!

Golly gee and gosh, I sure have no idea 'at all'. ^-^

Dude, like we could EXPECT anything ELSE from somebody with TENTICLES OF LIGHT on their back.

Hooyay!

-End of the unhelpful sentence-by-sentence answer.

Now on to more brainless, yet more interesting chatter. ^-^

Glee and glory! An UNDERWORLD! Clearly, I shall be getting my fill of half to wholly naked demons of various castes and breeds! ... unless they're -really- evil and defeat their foes by wearing teletubby suits. GAH! NO! NOT THE MENTAL IMAGES AGAIN! NO! NO TELETUBBY **! AUGH! STOP, BRAIN! STOP, I SAYS!

Now let us go on to the next original and clearly never before used point.

TRSSTAN MUFT DIE OMG OMG LOLOLOLZORS!1onethousandonehundredeeleven

Here, Shintoshi. Here, here. C'mere and look at this nifty thing I have. It's called an "amateur lobotomy". I would be pleased to give it to you. You know, for a gift. To show my appreciation. ::Silky, smooth-talking tone.::

Ahem. NO I AM NOT MAKING THREATS ON THE AUTHOR'S LIFE IF THEY DO NOT GIVE ME WHAT I WANT TO SEE.

... .>

Ah well. Tristan's -bound- to die eventually. I think. I hope.

In the meantime, I suppose I'll just support Malik's going to train more. Anything that helps cut that glow-in-the-dark-**'s nuts off.

It is a good question whether I'm talking about the "wings" or the actual genitals.

I think both.

Hm. I seem to be in a very rant-y mood today.

No matter.

:P Huh... Gee... I wonder... is it 'coincidence' that everybody Malik taught went opposing him? Is it just that he was such a "great" and "compassionate" teacher? Were they jealous, or afraid? Do they have actual GOOD reasons? Or is it simply that they couldn't stand seeing his utterly sexy bootlaces?

Erm.Wait.

I DO NOT HAVE A THING FOR BOOTLACES.

... I don't even think bootlaces were -mentioned- so far. What the hell am I on?

I think I'm going to go dunk my head in cold water now.

(can't sleep, chocolate will get me...)

- Wynd.

PS: Glee! Underworld-lore! Give me underworld-lore! Although I suspect we'll learn something about the underworld during this "research" anyway, underworld-lore is always fun!

PPS: ... Tristan also must die for clichés. Bathed in light. Oh, I so bet he went directly and knowingly for that effect.

Also, people like Tristan are not good. Well, maybe "good", but not lovably so.

PP-PS: I'm also clinging to my old "Tristan must die" mantra and mostly ignoring the defeat in order to preserve what is left of my sanity.

Mind-controled troops? Aw, the plot thickens. :)

I look forward to the next chapter.

-Morty M.

Okay, I finally got to read this chapter. I liked it. Malik is quite the jumper. :)

I'll post a review of the next chapter shortly (after I read it)

-Morty M.

^-^ I feel loved.

The pictures were quite amusing, actually. XD Some were hilarious, some I didn't get because I didn't know the comic it's parodied from, some made my brain hurt. Brain hurt.

Hm. How many will be dead before the end. Let's ponder that one.

::Ponders.::

Well, Ashley doesn't seem to have so much plot importance so far. There's probably a reason you've taken her along, tho... and yet, when you think about it, any of the three could die... but, they also could survive.

Of course, it'd be kinda sad if Tristan didn't die. I mean, that's the POINT! THE POINT!

And, well, Lily dying would be nifty. But Lily also seems like a decent antagonist... but then again, Malik ought to aggravate people lots enough to draw new enemies to him. >.>

But, oi. If Davis' behavior is any indication to all what's going on in that HQ, then there's either something wrong with Tristan, or, well, he's kinda evil too.

Just not in the good sort of way that Malik is.

So, that's about it. And people are pestering me to come play games with them. On the 'net, I mean.

::Waves.::

Kill 'em all!

- Wynd.

PS: >.>... ...

Nope, I'm not there, obviously, you can't se me... laallala... ::Cough.::

The trip... extended longer than I would've expected. And then we yet spent a bit over a week at my grandmother's place. I didn't get back 'very' long ago, so, humble and yet feeble apologies!

However, allow me to emit cackling screams of success. GLORY GLORY GLORY GLORY GLORY GLORY GLORY GLORY AHHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHHA WOT! KEELZ TEH TESTICLE-MAN, MALIK! KEELZ 'IM!!

HA! HA! HAHAHAHAHA! Die, testicle-man! The disturbing image of ** of light for wings will no longer haunt me! ... I hope. Although IF Tristan really dies, we're probably going to get another antagonist that gives me even worse mental images. Evil, evil Shintoshi.

This is, however, all I am going to say for the moment being.

I'll shower you with praise if you kill Tristan, though! >.> NO I AM NOT BRIBING THE AUTHOR.

- Wynd!

PS: Die, Lily! Die, Tristan! Die, Ashley! Die, little goblin Splinky IVV! Die, die, die, in this pretty Blood of Dracula font I have here! DIE!

Well, I never know what to expect in this story. :)

I like the way things are going. I do have one question though...

Doesn't Karen know that Malik is a (half-)demon, and wouldn't she know that that spell would hurt him? Or does she want "revenge"?

Is this story really ending soon?

Anyways, until the next chapter,

Morty M.