A little rusty, ya right. This was very well done. Easy to read and connect with. Bravo. Keep up the good work. This piece was truely inspirational. Your Friend Lifeless Prophet

This is really great. Excellent rhyming. All I can say is it was 5 months well spent! QueenVixta

awesome awesome awesome awesome. I love it Love it Love it. Keep it up.

Solo.

Well, I don’t review or read many songs on fictionpress, because most of them seem to be saying the exact same thing. But this one caught my attention and I’m glad I took the time to read it. I like the tone this sets and the rhythm is steady all the way to the end. The first stanza really grabbed my attention and I love the refrain. I especially like “I won't find belief 'til/ I can find proof” and “I still have lightning, but/ Have I lost my thunder?”

Now, a few suggestions because that’s what makes a review worthwhile. Compliments are nice but they don’t help very much, eh? The fifth and ninth stanzas (not counting the single “until I find proof” line) seem like weak points. In both of the stanzas, the last line is okay… but it’s just okay. All the other lines of this song are great and when you throw in something mediocre, it really stands out. It reads like you were sort of groping for a rhyme and settled for the first thing that came to mind. I think with a little tweaking you can come up with two better lines to end these stanzas. My only other suggestion deals with the tenth stanza. I think your song would flow better if you moved “but” and the end of the third line to the first word of the last line. When I read it, there seemed to be a small hitch and I think that little change will make a world of difference.

Once again, excellent job! This was a very enjoyable read and it shows you have immense talent! Keep up the great work and I hope your health improves soon!

-Marie

Excellent - I've got a sort of Good Charlotte / 3 Doors Down style tune in my head as I read this. Nice job, and good luck with your A-levels!!