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| The Lark Ascending 2006-01-11 ch 1, | abuseScintillating subject matter here=) I liked this analogy: "Like paint dripping slowly down the wall. You didn’t notice the drip and then you saw it standing out so clearly." You might want to be careful about plural vs. possessive, i.e. "When other mother’s said..." That should be mothers (plural) without the apostrophe, unless for some reason you meant it to be possessive. This has sparked my interest overall - good job) |
| Chandni. Vatvani 2005-05-08 ch 3, | abusethis is a great story...i love the way u have made every emotion and action Very realistic.Good job! |
| screamstar87 2005-04-19 ch 1, | abuseThis is good. A couple of minor grammatical errors, but nothing to stop the enjoyment of reading it. It's so honest, like how she should feel guilty for not wanting to be around her kids every waking moment, but that she simply doesn't, and she can't take responsibility for it. How she doesn't seem to rely on this lover for a tangible place to go, but that they're still a psychological escape point. Excellent :) |