My GOD, this is gorgeous. I love the entire feel of the poem, this disjointed, I'm so messed up that I'm stumbling over my words, kind of feeling, and it works so well. You use language with exquisite precision. The alliteration in parts of this just kills me, especially the line about the butterfly. The metaphors in this are also insanely well done. I am favoriting you, for sure. Keep writing! :)

yes... yes... yes... you hit it here. I don't even need to say anything... this piece is complete and fully functional it doesn't even need me to review it... it breathes!yeah.. pretty muchamazingdefinitely a keeper.oh that twinge background sense of sad

mezzie

I like the line about the butterfly brushing bluely. Other than that, as always, quite good.

I'm sure this is amazing; however, I am not too bright, so I don't fully understand it. There's something haunting about it, though. It's cool.