FictionPress.com - let the words flow
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| Rengae 2005-08-26 ch 1, anon. | abuseROCK THE ** ON! |
| life like whoa 2005-07-11 ch 1,  | abuse"your scaring me with the way your acting. Your common sense is seriously lacking" That made me smile. I like this piece, and this kid sounds quite the pathetic type. Haha. |
| AngelBabyWingz85 2005-07-03 ch 1, | abuseMore like a stalker than just an ex. So far this is my favorite poem. It flows so wonderfully. |
| Syren of the Sky 2005-06-28 ch 1, | abusei liked this poem a lot-it holds a lot of emotion i can tell, and clearly portrays a battle-like situation. well done! and thanks for reviewing my poems! ps:the line with "feeded" in it-i came up with this to replace it with if you like it better-i don't think having "feeded" in there interupts it too badly tho. anywho: "in whom all these hates were seeded" could work. |
| andy 2005-06-22 ch 1, anon. | abuseit's a good poem, but everything rymes... it sounds kinda like a rap? |
| Annarence Studio 2005-05-31 ch 1, | abuseIt's excellent, it is simple and plain, but you get the message across to the readers like a bang without any fancy flowery language. Defintely the best poem i have come across in a long time. Sure some words here are perhaps too harsh to employ in poetry, but hey they get the job done, and done well too. And for your inquiry on the word "feeded", i could not help you for i am confused by that line's meaning, not very clear on what you were intending to say there. |
| Nobody-n-Particular 2005-05-14 ch 1, | abuseFull of bitterness, but hinting that the person is ready to move on. |
| Teao Girl 2005-05-03 ch 1, | abuseA good subject matter, but I feel that your punctuation is a bit off, as i think you may need some extra commas/full stops. And just so you know not everything needs to rhyme, or it seems forced |
| His Only 2005-05-02 ch 1, | abuseOhh- someone is annoyed! But to tell you the truth, while reading this I was getting annoyed with the guy too. Ugh, I hate phonies like that. Ok, well I dont hate them I just think they're annoying and need some help. Aww, I feel bad for him too. Poor guy wants you back- isn't that flattering? Yeah my sis has these problems... she says she's flattered and annoyed at the same time. Anyways, I really really really liked this!! It is probabaly my favorite of yours. It was just so... I don't know. It had me laughing a lot and your RHYMS WERE PERFECT! How on earth do you do it? I posted the Mothers day poem so if you ever get the time please help me out! I REALLY NEED HELP! But if you aren't able to, dont worry about. Keep up the great work and God Bless! |
| Alisha Marie 2005-04-24 ch 1, | abuseVery good! |
| Zephyr Zaelza 2005-04-23 ch 1, | abuseThat was awesome, great rhyming, and descriptions. I've felt like this before, some guys can really be idiots, they just dont know when to stop. Definatly a fave! ;) Keep it up! -Zephyr Zaelza |
| Karmachanic 2005-04-23 ch 1, | abuseI loved the 'I know feeded isn't a word' thing at the top, so here's a few words that I found by googling ryhming ditcionary: heeded, beaded, conceded, exceeded, pleaded, seeded, succeeded, preceded, weeded, receded, unimpeded, stampeded. Hope that helps, I liked this. The creepy stalker thing really gives it an unique edge, I hope that you didn't have to go through some ** like this. Bravo at capturing the raw human emotion that it love! Bravo! |