Oh. My. God.

there's not a thing that i could see wrong in this one. the combination of poetry and two-sided ideas like "wiresveins" and "oilblood" are simply brilliant.

the vividness of the episode was disturbing--something like techno-Goth of sick proportions. the style and diction was A-grade; the piece, though average in length, was compelling and horrifying, something that would put a lump of cold, hard ice on your stomach. and i can't simply find fault in here... the underlined italics with no semblance of ordered thought and repetition is downright genius.

the mature rating is much deserved; the philosophy and the dark depth of this work is--good gracious--so good it's already damning.

i will be recommending this one, and this story goes to my Favorite Stories list. keep on writing! it's quite a disappointment really that you've put the lid down on this and this is a one-shot, but i'd really like you to continue working on Monster. this is one of the best works loosely based on Frankenstein that i've read since Mary Shelley's masterpiece, and that's saying something.

because you are THAT capable, it would do me a very great honor to have you reviewing any of my work in return. until next time! (added you to author alert list and the story to favorite stories list. XD)

Oh I love this. The italic font adds to the suspense of the piece, and the general horror theme. The description is indeed vivid,the ending with it's open question threads dubt into the reader's mind about what will happen next. The repetition of the key words, such as "White, White face. Pale, Pale pain." Is genious. I might introduce that into my writing if it's ok? ^_^ The brief Latin reference is original in it's own little way. "Deus" Monster.

Well done, if I were you, I would print it out and frame it. You are a favourite author.

Sweet heaven above, this is - pardon my cursing, for lack of a more adequate phrase - so ** beautiful, so incredible. It's abstractly poetic, it's painful, it's striking to the soul. It's absofreakinlutely gorgeous. A masterpiece, no less, and it's not praise I give lightly.