haha u serious? i thoughti twas relaly serious when i first read it, but then i read greesy burgers and fries as i wait in the queue line, well you did give me an image of being tentative, uncertain, hesitant, nice poem

Interesting! It could use a stronger ending though, and perhaps it could just be me, but the last line seems to only repeat the first, adding nothing to the poem. Repeating can be okay when it is strong or quite meaningful to the poem, but I don't see that here. Though I must say, all of the in-between is great and provided a very enjoyable read. TheCryingGame

Deep, and well-detailed, I love the abstract vein flowing through your verses. It really came alive for me. Keep up the good work.

Much love,Juliet.