I have to say this story really touched my heart... I was a big Mermaid fan and this is a Fanfiction of the movie with a TWIST! The magic really was awsome. Continue writing and message me sometime just to Think of a new idea

I LOVE IT!


Is it over?

it cant be!

What about France!

Great story! This one kept me up in the late hours of the night, keep writing!

This has to be my absolute favorite story on fictionpress, I read it over and over again and never get bored!! It's just so entertaining! Keep up the fantastic work!

other than the fact that you missed some semi-colons, and commas, this was awesome.
the descriptions were awesome; Aisha's character's pretty believable (despite the tail, hair, and eyes, but that's to be expected...)
very cool.
adding to c2.
it's a fairytale. (:

-toffeecakesxox.

i love this retelling =]

This was a great story...but I would love to read an epilogue.

wow, this story is awesomely wonderful! HOLEY MOLEY! i could barely stop thinking about it, not AT ALL good for my studies! so, i guess this is the ending? i think thats wonderful! another chapter would ruin it... or maybe one in the future, once theyve had a child, would be good!
watever, i love this story!

wow, i don't know where to start. um. it was pretty good. your writing style is good too, nice detail and everything. i just had a problem with the characters. some moments i just thought they acted so, well, ridiculously dumb. you made them naive so you could drag out the story. for instance, even though she wanted to stay and help cullen escape, she could have easily taken the necklace from ryan while he was asleep and waited to put it back on; after all, she spent all that time just staring at him. i thought that you forced their "love" for each other way too quickly. it felt as though i missed something. for one chapter they were a little awkward, barely getting to know each other, and then the next she's fighting to see him because she LOVES him and he loves her oh so much. but it felt like it was just there, it just happened, out of the blue, as if nothing led to it, like a huge chunk of their love life was missing.
anyway, enough of that part. i also thought that, well, if aisha loved ryan so much, and how much she mentioned his stormy gray eyes hundreds of times, that she would be able to tell the difference between those and blue eyes. it shouldn't have exactly taken too long to figure that out.
it was a bit predictable, the characters a little too flat, her brother arriving into the story a bit late, and her seeming to go about everything so easily. didn't she feel anything at all seeing her father? actually having a family?
maybe i'm just going into this a little too far, but i just had to voice my opinions. anyway, it was a great story, and if you are planning a sequel, i hope you go into more detail with the characters, and more than just lip-locking etc etc with each other. some character development would be nice, some realistic ones anyway. i just thought aisha was more of a rebellious mermaid (a nice change), before she turned into the damsel in distress-slash-mary sue with powers. gah, i'm sorry for being so harsh. i just think you can do a lot better in the future. good luck!

this story is getting interesting and all, but wouldn't aisha have any urge to just blabber a word or two out? it doesn't seem as though she has a hard time talking. heh, anyway, i honestly hope you go deeper with the characters. you seem too hard to be trying to develop the character's in aisha's perspective, but not on their own. anyway, i'll just keep reading. =]

why would mermfolk need stairs?

I like it so far! I have class in a sec but I'll read the rest later. :) very nice.

hey i really loved your story. it's got a nice plot. though the story is rather short.. and sometimes the outcomes seem a little predictable. i really feel like you could write a lot more about your characters. i really love them a lot. especially Aisha's brother, perhaps you could explore them a little more. keep it up!

hey i really like your plot. just that i think you could improve it a lot more by adding more detail. too much seems to be revealed in the first chapter, and you might want to edit things a little here and there. for example, that i doubt they have stairs, nor blankets. your mermaids seem more like humans with tails living underwater. and i don't think you were aiming to depict them that way. further more, if aisha steals, and humans kill, how does that make the humans so detestful in her eyes?
great job though (: i'm reading on

WOW! Shorter than the rest, but that was all it needed. It feels much more finished off. Sorry I don't have any constructive critisism, but I know its nice to hear when your work is appreaciated (my spelling is horrible)... I love your work. Keep it up!
Love Shell (one of the Elemental Godesses)