Reviews for Olive Juice - FictionPress.com

Reviews For: Olive Juice

Jo! 2005-06-14 ch 1,	Ok, I must say the title is very original. I love it. Absolutely. Again, your flow is pretty much amazing. Even though it's a free verse, there seems to be a steady pattern within it. However, now, I didn't really get a line.. "But I fear, somehow That if I’m too close Once I lose you Your presence Ill find myself lost" you need an apostrophe in (I'LL find myself lost) and what i didnt get...that if i'm too close/once I lose you/your presence/...i dunno...something is wrong with this...its like an incomplete sentence or something I dont know...was it intentional? Fill me in. Also, in this line: "To my heart That's ached so much" it is better to say "That HAS" instead of shortening it. it gives it more depth. contractions make poetry look more like slang. but sometimes, they do work. So it really depends. Another well done job! -Jo
xDistortedReALiTyx 2005-05-06 ch 1,	haha...i love it...it's cute...olive juice! hehe ^_^ I relate,keep it up.--pammy-
Sunami Silverblade 2005-05-01 ch 1,	Falls off her chair, laughing hysterically That was HILARIOUS! It took me a while to get it... I had to read the last line aloud, actually. But once I did, I thought it was SO cute, and SO funny! The title was great; I never would have guessed. ^__^ So creative! Hugs the poem Yay! It was an adorable peice of writing, too, that I would have just loved anyway, but the ending was so great, now it's DEFINITELY one of my favorites. Thank you so much for writing this--a good laugh was just what I needed! --Sunami Silverblade
Remnants 2005-05-01 ch 1,	hey. i wonder what exactly you were thinking when you wrote this. still though the title is cool, cause it makes you look for the metaphor. all in all its very cool
Sinner By Nature 2005-04-30 ch 1,	omg this is so cute! i cant believe and 8th grade girl wrote it...its so adorable!
fallenangel7809 2005-04-29 ch 1,	Why is it called olive juice? I loved it but Olive Juice? lol I dont understand
Syren of the Sky 2005-04-29 ch 1,	ah, i love this! so nice-a yearing heart, learning to love... and the olvie juice thing is just too cool, i have to say. perhaps i'm missing some tragic deeper meaning, but i guess i'm just in a happy mood. newho, great poem! isn't it cool to see how your style evolves? ;)

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