Reviews for Watercolour Room - FictionPress.com

Reviews For: Watercolour Room

clockwork kiss 2005-07-19 ch 1,	i liked the rhyming, though i never really found a true form. each stanza had a different pattern... it gave it a good flow, though. mimicked your topic nicely, what with the chaotic psuedo-structure and whatnot. made it bumpy yet flow-y. some nice imagery, and the word choice was nice, along with the way the syllables rolled off the tongue. the title's very nice, but i don't think it quite encompasses everyting the poem says. the first three stanzas fit, but the last two wander off a bit, save fot the last two lines. one really tiny, super-picky thing: 'for a insect-quick' - the 'a' should be 'an'. sorry. i'm grammar crazy. anyways. nice write. i like the meanings and love the structure.
ShadowPharoh 2005-06-28 ch 1,	very very unique. fantastic job! SP
M. R. Smale 2005-06-05 ch 1,	So powerful and sadly true about the materialistic American society. Very vivid imagery used and is not distracting from the overall message cleverly portrayed. Keep up the excellent work!
Luthiena o Lorien 2005-06-05 ch 1,	Wow. That is a really great poem. I have no words to say but wow.
Arcane D. 2005-05-11 ch 1,	wow, this poem has a very nice vibe. It's so descriptive and i'm amazed of how you used metaphors here (astonished actually). -ADD
citrus scented 2005-05-11 ch 1,	"Some Vitamin D and a pat on the back"~ great stuff. this is a very rich poem full of wonderful descriptions, but it can be a bit heavy to absorb at time. Great idea though, and i just love the 4th stanza.
poetic abortion 2005-05-04 ch 1,	There were one or two words I couldn't decipher without the help of a dictionary but that is OK, expected when using words that aren't used much in every day speech. (Well, with me that is.) I like it though, your words add a more colorful feel to it. I like it, the author's note really cleared things up and made it much more surprising then what I had thought it was. ^^; It reads well, its actually fun to read with some of the words you used. I like it, a really nice poem. =) Keep writing! !~* Noelle *~!
Unholy Haven 2005-05-02 ch 1,	Reads well, and I like your lovely use of descriptive colour. I'm one of those readers who needs to reach for a dictionary upon reading this, but that's O.K., that's what the book is for! Beautifully done, please bless us with some more great poems!
Ivy Thorn 2005-05-02 ch 1,	Very melodic piece with a delicious cadence when read aloud. Your word choice transforms this poem from simple letters into art. You capture the essence of American materialism beautifully, and if that isn't what you were going for, you still do! And as for the message of "Lavender Bathsalts and Bedroom Savagery", I was trying to capture something that was part wistfulness, part bitterness, part dissapointment. I'm not even sure what, but I suppose it does make a nice ambient piece too. Anyway. I particularily like your smattering of rhymes and alliteration. "Flash-frozen Loch Ness Monster" made me smile. Fantastic job.
youzi 2005-05-01 ch 1,	Somewhat excessively festooned with humougously lenghty words!! Yepps..it's not as accessible as you woul like it to be.The descriptions (where i understood them well enough) were great.. I liked how you directed us to look, well, 'look' at the ts one by one.. interesting. Do keep writing =D
addie pray 2005-04-29 ch 1,	Awesome. All of this is so rich, (fear for gout) although much easier to digest than chopped liver. I loved the second stanza and the last line especially. And also "dreams of white marble and slipstream chrome". Hmm. For critism:... I dunno. I really liked this. Oh, as for the other reviews: anonymous flames -- how very, very pathetic. And, hey, if you don't know some words in here, LOOK IT UP. Expand your vocabulary. It's really not that difficult.
logico fuck you 2005-04-29 ch 1,	Shame you didn't understand the piece, you just read the summary. I'll tell you, that is nothing new to me. Jeez and I thought you were smart, you even used the word Nihilism in the first sentence. Shame, what a waste.
Weeba 2005-04-29 ch 1,	First of all, I'd like to thank you for your honest review of my piece "The Lost and Found"; at first, I was a little peeved, but then I remembered that this is exactly the kind of constructive criticism I want. Opinions matter. However, I'm having a little trouble deciding which items to remove from my Lost and Found. Which did you find particularly fitting; which did you find superfluous? I'd like some more of your input on this. You can e-mail me, or send another review without logging in. As for this poem...I think that the descriptions are very strong, and the language is good except for a couple of obscure substances (?) which I couldn't identify. I think maybe you should make it more accessible. Examples: diode and emery. Just thought I'd mention that. Also, I noticed about half-way through the poem that some of the lines rhyme. Looking at it more carefully, I could see the rhyme scheme, but I thought it was a little forced. I think this peom would work better as blank verse, because it doesn't really have enough of a set rhythm for the rhyming to be noticable or effective. However, I do love some of your descriptions. You work well with color and capture images with certainty and elegance. Good job. E-mail me if you have the time. I'd like to hear more of your input. ~Weeba~
Princess-anna57 2005-04-29 ch 1,	Wow, this poem is amazing! So descriptive. You've painted a picture very well! Write on; you have so much talent! ~Anna~
Perhaps Archimedes 2005-04-29 ch 1,	I loved it...Brilliant.

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