Oh, creepy! I like it. Very well written, I hope you win the competition! Here's some constructive criticism (p means paragraph):p1: I think a comma before "forever" works better than a semicolon, b/c it's not a full sentence. Also, you have "realised" twice in the third sentence. You have two semicolons in the 4th sentence. Maybe replace one wtih a dash? Or just make it two sentences.p7: You have "strange" twice in one sentence. Try "odd" or "peculiar" (I can never spell that word. >_

Nice. Kinda predictable...but mostly because every fic in this section is a vamp fic. Effective description. I didn't really notice anything odd about your protagonist. Also, the Latin seemed very odd...

Overall, well written. Very good for such a tight word constraint.

I didn't pick up on what you said was weird about your main character. Sorry. I was looking for it.

Pretty good, but if I were you I wouldnt describe in so much detail what she's wearing. It's burdening and pretty pointless to the plot.

Also, it might be helpful to provide a translation for what those words mean.