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| Nova-Janna 2006-03-08 ch 1,   | Well, I do like it. That much said, I think I should move on to a bit of constructive criticism and hope you don't feel an urge to throw rotten tomatoes at me afterwards.I tried reading this outloud, and I couldn't find a good rhythm. Truly it doesn't matter since all I have to do is to read it, but often poetry has some form of rhythm.That said, I liked the rhyme that you did manage to slip in, since it's often hard to integrate rhyme that does work.My only other semi-criticism would be that it seems to be sort of quirky while at the same time being deep and introspective. You have managed a happy balance, but it strikes me that just quirky would work as well.Oh well, I'm sorry this is so long- but I felt I owed you a review, and poems are so much fun to read. Expect more reviews. |
| catching-falling-stars 2005-05-02 ch 1, | nice. good rhyming. awesome point made. really good! never stop writing! @_@ |
| Rose Marie Wolf 2005-05-02 ch 1, | Very nice. I really liked it. Good job. |
| SiouxsieStar 2005-05-02 ch 1, | Very intellegent observation. The su[perficial conformity is something that's happening all the time and people need awareness. Great poem. Keep on raging. |