I love the concept of this! I myself am writing stories that contains multiple PoVs, so I'm glad you're doing this. It's really interesting, and the characters are realistic. I hope you'll continue this soon!

Wow. Seamless change from point of views, wonderful chapter. I feel like I've known these people for years; maybe because I can identify them so well with people at my own school

It’s much more enjoyable to have never tasted heaven than to be told it was a mistake and sent back the other way.

Very true line you have right there. It really made an impression on me. Perfect ending, too. That was an excellent line to end on. Magnificent story; I must say, because I usually don't read fiction, but this is great.

i like the idea of this- that you take a group of people that all have one thing in common and show how they are different, yet the same. brilliant really. i'm looking forward to seeing where this goes.

This is a great start. No, more than that. A wonderful start. I love your descriptions of school life, maybe because I can identify so much. Please continue!

Wow! Keep it up! Unlike most of the stories I read today this one isn't the least bit angst-y!

For an experiment in characterisation I would say it's damn good. I really look forward to reading more of this story, I can see that the relationship between Everret and Mac with be interesting to say the least!

I like how you can express the character's thoughts - it's hard to justify contrasting sides of a story and make them sound equally convincing, but you do a great job of this.

Coolio! I like this so far, and that's saying a lot, considering I usually don't even give junior/senior high "realistic" fics a second glance.

Your prose writing style is nice and clean. It's exceptionally professional, much more so than the writing of many people three times your age. This is an auspicious start.

My only warning is that you make sure not to make your characters one-sided. I know you haven't had room yet to make them well-rounded and deep, but an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure. How does one weigh prevention and cure anyways? Is there like a special scale for that?

I liked this. I especially liked the two different points of view. you got the message through very clearly. good work!

~LP~