FictionPress.com - let the words flow
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| Lady Archie 2005-06-15 ch 1,   | Aw.. how sweet. And sad. If this wasn't meant to be a one shot then please update soon! |
| Kella Trams 2005-06-11 ch 1, | So beautiful. I really love this. It's very touching and dramatic, but you never quite loose touch with reality. You don't go too far so that the reader remembers that what they are reading is fiction. It feels like it's really happening and that you are inside the character's head. Very very nice. |
| Pomaikai 2005-05-14 ch 1, | Correction: his hair is more brownish. Do you guys want me to take out the Asian part? |
| gastonluver 2005-05-14 ch 1, | Hey theres nothing wrong with asian...just because c* has blondish hair. |
| genre_questionable 2005-05-13 ch 1, | it was so good until he just had to be asian (no offense) but still he should have been a hunky blonde |
| gastonluver 2005-05-05 ch 1, | I think pauls a nice name...but its already used. How about Ashley? |
| aquamarinara 2005-05-04 ch 1, | quite powerful pomaikai...you are my first review ever! (doesn't that make you feel special!) anyway, i have several critiquees.. NAMES- jake, janet, and patrick? kind of boring, but whatever, its your story. are you going to do a sequel? |
| WannaBWriter 2005-05-04 ch 1, | OMG! it is unbelievable! i loved your word usage and your dialogue! it was absolutely great! as i was reading i developed this huge lump in my throat for it was just so sad. in symbolized something going on in my own life remarkably so. i liked the line: "The words shriveled up and died." that line just really stood out for me and i liked it a lot! GREAT write! *thank you so much for the review! |
| moonlight212 2005-05-03 ch 1, | Good plot, and I would like to see where this goes. The only thing is you used short choppy sentences and it would be better (in my opinion) to lengethen the sentences. Hope this helps! |
| AmyBabe 2005-05-03 ch 1, | AWW, that is so depresing. Why'd you write it. sigh. It's good though. xx Amy xx |
| Anotherlovesickteen 2005-05-03 ch 1, | No don't leave it like that! Update as soon as you can this brilliant! |
| Sadistic Ramblings of Irony 2005-05-02 ch 1, | *Sniff* Sad love stories... Aw... One of these days I need to get my sorry ** out and about to confess my love for my buddy Hopper... *Whispers confidentially* I don't think he knows... *Gulps* At least I hope not... *Blank stare, turning pale* Oh my god, he's gonna hate me... I think I'm going to be sick... Er... So yeah. Byez! ~~Jamie |