Reviews for A world apart - FictionPress.com

Reviews For: A world apart

MichelleTB 2005-05-20 ch 1,	abusemakes review no one looks at my story...it's done and everything...oh well...I like your work...it's cool. Remember, you said i helped you write with my story!!
Eluza Starsha 2005-05-17 ch 1,	abuseThis story works very well so far. It's good to get introductions out with a lot of explaining, leaving plenty of time for dialogue later on, and only a couple of gaps filled in. i like the way your character reacted in a believable way. Keep up the good writing!
Prince Tin Lizzy 2005-05-17 ch 1,	abuseGreat start, I'm very interested in the little goddess. I thought it was really original the way you had Anne drawn to her by her unusual appearance. Also, I want to know what's up with all the clashing energies! Thanks so much for the review. I always love it when new people read, and I'm really happy to know that Altair is staying interesting!
FScott 2005-05-06 ch 1,	abuseMystery, Intrigue, and a nice start to a story, oh my! Beautiful job in making an intro. I love the descriptive phrases that you use. ^.^
Raleighj 2005-05-05 ch 1,	abuse(I'm hoping it doesn't lump this text together into one huge paragraph -- my apologies if it does). I wouldn’t know if your information on wiccans accurate or not, but I like the feel of the story. I like how you picture the earth being full of vibrating energies, and Anne feeling the energies coursing around her – it’s some very evocative description you have, there. For some reason, the “it was positively unnerving” sentence was one of my favorites – it ends the paragraph nicely. I’m thinking I like it because it relates the description in the paragraph to the character – it shows very distinctly how these vibrating energies are affecting her. (Or maybe I just like the fact that it’s just a nice, short, to the point sentence that provides a perfect complement to the longer, more detailed sentences). The way you first describe the girl is also very good. I also liked the “this has got to be a joke” reaction from Anne – it made her a very believable character.You’ve got a typo here: “Murder and lies are what OUT homes are built on.” I’m also sort of wondering about the semi-random capitalization. Is there a special reason that “Shone,” “Strange,” “Fighting,” “Making Friends” and “Library” are capitalized, and “new,” “unfamiliar,” “arguing” and “public” are not? Keep up the good work! (Ah – one more thing. I don’t personally mind it when authors hold chapters hostage to reviews, but hostage chapters ARE generally seen as bad etiquette :-)).
Vrisa Daergel 2005-05-05 ch 1,	abuseThis story sounds really good so far (Though a tad short). Keep on writting it. I'm sure it'll turn out to be an excellent story. I love the way you begin with it as well. It adds an element of intrigue to it.

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