Home Just In Communities Forums Beta Readers Dictionary Search Login Register Extras
Reviews For: Fox in the Flowers
Eyes Unclouded 2007-08-13 . chapter 1
Very sweet poem with lovely imagery. I felt like I could have painted something from reading this. I'm not sure if there is a point or message in it that unites the fox, mist, and the final message, although I can understand it as an abstract poem. It's quite beautiful.
Chaos A. Mendel 2006-08-03 . chapter 1
I really like this... it's magical, almost, like a dream. I love the repetition of the 'mist'; it adds so much more to the atmosphere...

I think (like in Amphelice), you can extend the second half, especially the meeting of the fox and what she says to the reader.

I would like to see some closure too, something like seeing her drift back into the mist. I understand what you're going for: the lingering of the last few lines in the reader's mind (they are beautiful lines), but I think you could still accomplish that with more closure at the end. Just my suggestion.
rrmehta364 2006-06-10 . chapter 1
"A darkened mist curls around me

I lose myself in its embrace" : Beautiful lines.

I really liked the poem. The meaning seemed a bit hard, but I think I understood what you were saying by the end.

-bye.
Pheobe Meryll 2006-05-15 . chapter 1
Oh! I love this! It's so pretty and meaningful and ...poetic. Very airy and musing. *puts on favorites list* I had no idea you could be so poetic about your word choice and structure. You should write more of this sort of thing. (not that I don't like your other stuff, it's great too - i just think it's neat you can do both. I've been wanting to try my hand at a modern thriller for ages upon ages but I haven't gotten a plotline worked out yet and even if I do I tremble at what everyone here will say - Pheobe writing a thriller! lol but it's marvelous you're diverse about what you write.) so...enough rambling. Lovely poem, in short.
Kaggr 2006-04-19 . chapter 1
Beyond confused, though I'm sure there's some hidden meaning that I've yet to find!
sunday night sky 2006-03-19 . chapter 1
i love the story-like tone of this, it flows really well. great job!
SpawnMeister666 2006-01-29 . chapter 1
For some reason this seems incomplete to me, almost like whatever tale is being told has yet to reach the ending.

I'm waiting for the punchline, for an explanation, and I know it isn't going to be forthcoming.

I already mentioned I don't get poetry didn't I?

Spawny
Infinite Abyss 2005-08-23 . chapter 1
Great poem.
Arej 2005-05-19 . chapter 1
Okay. Wow. I read this because I don't like poetry very much [well, correction, I like poetry but hate dissecting it] and all I can say is 'wow'. This is good. It makes you think, you know? Of course you do. You wrote it. I'm an idiot. Ignore me.

BB- Arej
Arkash 2005-05-09 . chapter 1
A very nice poem.

You should write more.
gonnadielafing 2005-05-07 . chapter 1
Feels like a shakespear play almost, keep writing
Pomaikai 2005-05-05 . chapter 1
Hey, this could almost be a short story. Nice work, by the way.
Return to Top