Excellent! Very well written, and Cael is an interesting character that i cant wait to see develop. however, the autocannon on the Land Raider should be an assult cannon. please update!

How violent!

Bryan, where are you? I miss being able to talk about weird stuff with you. Come back to fictionpress, you're a really good writer. I've improved too... I guess. GO ON AIM SO I CAN TALK TO YOU!

-YuLian

I must say that this story is excellent. There are, however, various parts where you repeat yourself, but typos plauge us all, eh? I would like to hear more of the imperial gaurdsman, Caen. Your style is very thorough, and I like it very much. typically I enjoy reading first person (I did this, I did that, etc.) but this was so well written I hardly noticed! Overall a great read, but perhaps if you could add more... I will look forward to more of your writing on this story!

hey, this is the first 40k fic i've seen on this site ^_^

bah, imperial guardsmen are weak,but the arrival of the marines are so cool XD