kl i likey :D

Very quick moving and short. It's great how you go the mood of the story across. It seems to be a little unrealistic, i don't know why...

Hey I really like this story. Try describbing it alittle more. It was really good but it felt like you were rushing it. Take you time describing everything and maybe add little fillers to make everything seem more described.

~Laura~

this is intrestin in a cool way, i likeupdate soon

This is a pretty good start so far. It needs a little polishing and editing, but apart from that it's decent enough.

I for one am looking forwards to the next installment.

Spawny

oh. Interesting. Let's see more.