FictionPress.com - let the words flow
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| Clap Clap Raise Your Hands 2005-06-02 ch 1,  | abusei like poems like this, even if you don't understand them they hold some vivid images that are nice to think about and it can be good to try to link the pieces together x weasel within x |
| Wrong Name Tag 2005-05-19 ch 1, | abuseWhether I'm supposed to try and make sense of it or not, I like it. It's got great ideas behind some of the lines, and I love the concepts when you introduce the two people to them narrator and overall just well-written. I'll have to check out more of your work. Jess |
| tofujunky 2005-05-19 ch 1, | abuseThis is the kind of poem where it stays and floats in my head, long after I finish reading it, looking for hints; searching for clues to the indistinct message. And I believe that's what makes this unique, certainly in a good way. "and i went home / with myself and a phonebook." That made me giggle. I found it funny, but I can't seem to pinpoint the reason. |
| PaulAsaran 2005-05-14 ch 1, | abuseWow, glad I didn't try to interpret it. O.o It's an interesting read, but I can't help but wonder what it is about... |
| Boejangles 2005-05-13 ch 1, | abuseYour right, dont try to make a meaning out of it. I like your word choice, it is very strong. It seems to have one feeling, then another. I like it all the same. Keep it up! -BOE |
| i was a postcard 2005-05-11 ch 1, | abuselove the repetition. the whole thing flows and is so...coherent. in a good way, very good way. |
| twenty-second seduction 2005-05-11 ch 1, | abusethis makes me think of nights in public bathrooms. yes, i'm aware i'm weird.i'm also aware that what you've written is awe-rendering. |
| Aslan Israel 2005-05-11 ch 1, | abuseI love how you end this. everything seems so real... |
| Second-Hand-Screamo 2005-05-09 ch 1, | abuseHm. I like the ending. Short and powerful, good job. |
| Escapist 2005-05-08 ch 1, | abuseThe first line sets the whole mood for the poem. ♥"retrace, retrace/the lines on my palm"This kid one time told me that because all of the lines on my palm cross and connect, I'm doomed. He told me I was doomed! I love how this poem is written in such a "this is what happened, so here it all is" sort of way. God. The world is going to fall in love with you. |
| Momentary Sins 2005-05-07 ch 1, | abuseoh, i liked this. it was short and sweet and yeah... i like it. |
| Joewhatever 2005-05-07 ch 1, | abuse-claps- Ah it's so good! Lovely lovely lovely. I especially like..."i went to california/with a boy who ran his hand through my hair and told me i'd be a star/said i looked like a young lauren bacall" because...it's fabulous. :P Err...anyway, beautiful imagery, writing, tone, etcetera. I love the story you describe here. Ai...it makes me want to dance. :-D Lovely poetry, mate! |
| Nobody-n-Particular 2005-05-07 ch 1, | abuseFrank and matter-of-fact, honest. I like the last line much. :) |
| Made in U.S.A. 2005-05-07 ch 1, | abusethis is wonderfull! reminds me of bob dylan for some reason. i don't know just gives off that type of feeling but thats a great thing. i love and keep writing :D |
| SilverSpinner 2005-05-07 ch 1, | abuseFor some reason this one reminds me greatly of Joni Mitchell. (Maybe just the bit about California, I don't know.) It's wonderful...I love the rhythmicness of it. |