Joi! its gabby. if you(du) have(haben) anymore written, please(bitte) post asap. its a good(gut) story, thank you!(danka)Just adding a little german for ya! bye

Interesting story, though one thing does bother me. What kind of name is Chipper? xD

wow joi. that's deep!(it's gabs) great story.

It's good. A few mistakes in wording, but otherwise well written.

i love you joi! i had no idea you were such a great writer! you don't seem like that type. haha. i guess looks can be decieving.

hey! i thought that story was great! i'm going into the 8th grade and i've been a published POET since the 4th grade... if u wanna know about how 2 get published, email me or u can IM me on my s/n (suburbanpoet13). by the way, i'm a guy who knows gabby taylor, i think she said ur her godsister or something like that. i 4got. oh and so u don't get the wrong idea of me, i'm not gay. i just said that cuz a lot of people think that a guy who writes poetry is automatically gay or something. just putting it out there! can't wait 2 hear from u!

This is so sad but yet so touching i love it!! Best story ive read in a long time! Its just sad to think that some peoples lifes are relly like that. you need to keep writing and ill keep reading :)

I thought the story was great, those stories have always been my favorite, the ones where kids are beaten or sick. I don't know why, i guess i just like sad stories in general. but i did not really understand who Chipper was, her boyfriend, or something?

Gabby told me to come and read this and I loved what I read and I got into it very fast.

Wow! the whole story was amazing! the way Lane reacted to her mother and father, and the her relationship with Chipper is incredible! i'm just shocked how such anger and light romance can be mixed together so good! Great story! Can't wait to read the next chapters, and i'll definately buy the book once its published! Awesome!

this is a really awsome story. i liked it so much i almost cried. Joi you are a better writer than i thought you were. and you can't be mad at me anymore because i finally got a chance to look at your work.

Great story! I really liked reading it. I really liked the charcters although you could elaborate on them a little more so we could get a better idea of who they are(atleast the main charcter). Really good discreptions but at times it seemed like you drew attention away from the suspenseful parts. Also some minor grammatical errors but still its a great story.

And on a more personal note I'm really suprised. Such a dark story coming from someone like you. You always seem so cherful I wouldn't expect something like this but great job. How many more chapters are you planning on doing?

whoa!

It's good. Praying to a God that might not exist is better than pleading with a father who doesn't care.

I found you on the "just in" list while looking to see if my piece was there. I randomly clicked on this and started reading, and I wanted to comment.

This is amazing and powerful, this piece; it shows emotion, yet it's almost objective despite the first person. It shows a very scary and personal account of what can happen if someone gets really drunk, and it's powerful. The only thing you should probably do to improve it is to go through and proofread; there were run-on sentences and punctuation mistakes and such. Aside from that, though, this is amazingly powerful and really makes one feel lucky for what they have. Thank you for that, I very much appreciate it. :)