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Holy ** was that descriptive... what's so sad is that there are some people who have to go through this in real life... I hope to God you aren't one of them. *hugs*

i wanna know more!

Oh, this is good, loved this to bits.

very good, very creepy.

As a piece of writing, eerily graphic and spooky. This is the kind of thing that sends chills down my spineI love the phrases "corpses of the spiders’ victims" "The hard cement floor is so covered in bloodstains that the gray color is almost completely obscured."and the dirty cloth sack.

This reminds me of a scene in a story about an abused child that I read- except there was a dead baby sister in the character's arms too *shudders* Since "as if I’d inflicted them myself"- means that you havent inflicted them yourself, much more scary.

Seriously, this is an excellent piece of writing, and you could turn it into something really moving.

As for worrying about you- should I? Because it isnt THAT disturbing, just eerily realistic, which is why others find it so disturbing I think. Especially the matter-of-fact tone. Others would write it over-dramatically, which waters down the reality

But just to make sure, I shall read your lj when I get home from school- so I have to wait. But I trust that you are okay- you are pretty resilient.

That was so sad!! I loved the feelings though - and the imagery was so clear to me. How terribly depressing though.

Here's some Food For Thought:

It's good to see you again. I was in the neighborhood and thought that I should read this, which I was glad to do. The aspect of this story that really struck a chord with me was its' simplicity, overall. Hardly any fancy words or long sentences were used and when executed correctly (like you've just done in this publication) it can give off the wonderful chaos of realism. It's easy for any author to use sophisticated wording and run-on sentences (in the wrong way) to impress their readers. But, it shows that you were confident enough in your ability to write at your own pace, which is something very difficult to do. Good work.

Oh... my. That was pretty ** terrifying. What's going on in the land of Tally? As a reader I'm going: **. Ugh. My skin is crawling but I want to read more, it's perversly beautiful. As a friend of the writer I'm going: HEY! What's going on?!?!

May I ask where the "Innocent" part of your pen name came from? This little piece is freakin' terrifying! I'm gonna have nightmares for a week.

Insanely Graphic. Sickening but as horror stories go, seems to be one of the best i've read.