Ah, I'm so loving this. Keep writing please. )

YAY! Short, but YAY! Nika in control. And Nova going to her house. Whoot. Keep it up. I love how the tow interact, it reminds me of some of my friends' relation- slash friendships.

Nika seems to be going just a little bit...estranged? Well, I suppose she's dealing with death, so it's expected, but I'm wondering how long ago She died. Grief is probably just catching up to her.

To answer the question on the top, I think that all boy/girl friends flirt! They might not have romantic intentions, but what I've seen with N & N, yeah, totally romantic. I sound dumb now.

It's 'cocoon' I believe.

And I'm still angry that the fight was a seperate chapter. That took away so much emotion from this chapter.

6.5/10

I don't like how the chapter just cut off after the fight, so the feeling kind of dies when I have do go down and click to make the next chapter come up instead of just fluently reading through it...A story needs climaxes, but this seemed like it was just a moment or something. A climax cut-up.

However, you seem to have a skill for making things very fiery without stopping short or stepping out of line for your genre, which is relieving, because too many authors tend to do that. So the only real problem was: LENGTH. I still think that a good idea would be to combine chapters, or viewpoints.

7/10

That is so cute...

The chapters have been getting longer and more detailed throughout the entire story, and it's like I can see you get better at writing sometimes...Until a bad chapter comes up. No, I didn't think any were bad in the end, but there were the two...And the two were usually followed or preceded by good chapters, so I'm afraid of what's after this.

The story is picking up and getting deeper, if not a little late in, so I take back what I said about it being 'mild'. The words are getting bigger too, and there is more conflict, and I'm also seeing certain styles and plotlines lifted from other authors...I'm not sure if you did it consciously or not, but I can't really recall who this reminded me of, so I'll just shut up about that.

Also, I see now that this is a romance to the core, and it was wrong of me to expect Jef to think of anything other than just 'talking' to 'nika. Maybe I'm just inexperienced in reviewing dramas.

Well anyway, can't wait to see how you end it, it appears that things are either climaxing or wrapping up...With the way the story has fluctuated (ooh, vocab word) so far I'm not sure when/where you're planning to end it.

I'm watching for more.

8/10

There were some typos in this chapter and the last chapter, plus, the lines were melodramatic. It is a drama, so I suppose it fits.

7/10

I think that it would have worked good as a short story too.

Good length.

8/10

There's one problem with the last few chapters; If I had been watching this on T.V., it would have looked like (pardon my language) Jef was hitting on her and telling her sappy lines to get some ass. I don't mean to offend or anything.

There's another thing...Why is this rated 'T'? I'm thinking that it's the concept, that the story involves death, but still, it just barely makes it into the 'T' group.

Still a nice little scene, even though i'm not sure if Jef was really only thinking of talking to her.

7/10

The only real conflict I've seen so far is Veronyka with herself, and slight slight SLIGHT V/J conflict, hardly there at all. Although there doesn't seem to be a lot there, it's simple and nice to read, have I said that before? And by a lot I meant 'conflict'.

The Beatles rock, and I can't wait to see what happens in Jef's room. Maybe not a heart-wrenching, laugh-emitting story, but a good, mild drama, cream in the coffee sort of thing, right? Right.

8/10

Jef's mom sounds cool.

It was a better chapter than the last one, and I liked it when he introduced Nika to his mom, how Jef didn't want her to be Nika to anyone but him...He sounds possessive.

7/10

Character continuity is becoming a problem. Why is Nika writing like Jef usually writes? And how did Jef go from being a pessimist to childish? Hm. Also, line thing is annoying.

Not a 'blah' chapter, more like a 'huh?' chapter. Wouldn't Nika be a little more worried about her appearance to Jef's mom? Well, I suppose I wouldn't know...but from how you've made her character it doesn't fit.

Everything appears to be falling apart.

6/10

Ah, Nika sounds like she's flirting :D.

The description on the rooms was a little wordy, which would have been okay if it balanced out with the way you were writing previously, but it didn't.

That's all.

6/10

It's weird thinking of the thoughts 'nika is having while Jef is talking to her, and while you see it through his lens.

I forgot to say about how on the last chapter, she thought it was weird that she was thinking about a boy...I don't know, but aren't they in high school or something? Have I missed details?

Spanish class seems to be pretty important, maybe where you got some inspiration in real life?

8/10

Jef reminds me of me. Such a babbling, oblivious idiot to the obvious, but always finding details in the subtle...That just sounds braggy, pardon me.

I like how you're revealing her family story slowly, I wonder what Jef's is?

8/10