I like this one, it reminds me of the river in Death, in the Sabriel triology by Garth Nix.

- Abbreviations, Open Up My Eager Eyes

Rawr!

This is the awesomest thing EVAR. Seriously, better than anything I could ever write. The last lines in the last two stanzas are really powerful and striking. LOVE IT!

10 out of 10!

Very nice, very nice! I love the imagery. It's really powerful.