PLEASE UPDAT PLEASE! THIS SO AWESOME!

BookCrazy687

Two words: kick ass.

I love the prolouge and I'm looking forward to reading the rest! I love how you wrote it and I adore the creepy little kid! Creepy kids always make horror stories better. Unless it's like in that one apocolypse movie I can't remember the name of where the creepy little kid suddenly changed personalities from scene to scene. Like in one scene she was quiet and scary and the next she was a little brat. Yeah... And I'm just babbling here. Sorry about that.

There were some minor grammar problems in the dialogue (please ignore the next paragraph, as I am a grammar nazi and will point out every little detail down to the last comma), like after the boy says "I am doing this," the 'started' is capitalized and then the 'because' is capitalized, and then when he says "It's not as if you ever used it," there should be a comma instead of a period, but nothing really major is wrong (unlike other stories where they don't even bother putting commas or periods). Grammar check on the spell check can help with minor stuff like that. Though I do commend your use of commas. Not many people notice commas. It makes me feel bad for them.

Anyway, I hope you update soon. This story has great potential.